Thursday, August 26, 2010
Summer is fun times. We've been picking up quality applicants as guilds blow up left and right. We're gonna finish Wotlk as the server #1 by default. We're like the Bubba Gump shrimp boat that survived the pre-expansion summer slump tsunami.
There's this sick boomkin recruit from former world top 200 guild dishing out dps I thought boomkins weren't allow to dish out. He's beating out our Ninja Mage Tripod and the Elite Ranger Plate DPS Corps, which includes a Shadowmourne DK and the Jong. It's weird getting skooled by a boomkin. I don't know how to cope with this feeling.
Oh, and there's this shadow priest who introduced himself as "the 3rd best shadow priest in the world" on his app. Are you cereal? Joo gon' come into my house (The House of Self Delusion and Unapologetic Ego) and blurt out them fighting words? Do you realize what kinda substance you've got to put out to collateralize claims like that?... I LOVE IT! I can't wait to see how he measures up against our resident spriest.
We're getting H Halion down to P3 fairly consistently. I think we'll get him in a couple weeks. For those who haven't seen it, the hardmode twilight realm spawns Bella and Edward and it's really annoying.
I overcame the challenges of the crossing twilight cutters by 1) tapping into the prefrontal cortex via daily Tai Chi routine to unleash my leet visuo-spatial skillz; and 2) truly believing that I am a butterfly-- butterfiles never die to twilight cutters.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The line is being held up because the guy in front of me can’t decide. He’s leaning on the counter to indicate that he has no intention of letting others order ahead. Hrmmmmm… he’s intently contemplating the warm tortillas of Carnita Chicken against the pillowy flatbred of Gordita Baja, because choosing the wrong combo meal would initiate the launching sequence for the nuclear missile that would decimate the entire city of New York. Wtf? How can you not know what you want at Taco Bell? I know what I want at Taco Bell the day before I get there.
So, it's my turn. The cashier can’t figure out how to punch in “one volcano burrito and medium mountain dew please” into the cash register that looks like my niece’s Fisher Price Animal Sounds Farm. I bet if I reached over and pushed the big-ass brown button that says VOLCANO BURRITO, the register would sound off moooooo. I’ll bet all my wow gold and my burrito that this girl would fuck up the blood queen bite assignment.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Isn't completing DHETA's Little PITA and Nessingwary: The Collected Quests kinda like being a spokesperson for Coke and Pepsi at the same time?... I do like riding around my polar bear singing bah bah bah bah the Joooooy of Pepsiiiiiiii~
I didn't make the best first impression with DHETA. I was running back to the camp all proud with a huge-ass smile: Look! Look! I done all your quests just like you told me to!
Instead of giving me an 'attaboy, Arch Druid Lathorius body-slammed me to the ground and stepped on my throat. You have no idea how confused I was. I mean, Zaza was in tears as she was kicking my face in: You bastard! You killed a baby mammoth!
Relax you hippies. I didn't know*, okay?
*What I didn't know was that the quest comes with a hammer to break the trap. So, I targeted the baby mammoth and divine stormed to... you know, break the trap.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
You know how I feel about pally bubble (Pally Spell Mage Spell).
Blizz refuses to admit that they don't have a clue how to balance the game around bubble, just as the Canadians won't admit that Canadian bacon is really ham. Ham. Say it! Hammmmm.
Bubble is the only spell in the game that lacks style and substance at the same time. If fury warriors can survive hardmode encounters in Take Extra Damage Stance, I sure don't need INVINCIBILITY on top of insta-cast FoL and LoH. Go ask your girlfriend, "hey babe, if you saw me bubbling in the heat of battle, would you be kinda turned on or would you think I'm the biggest unsportsmanlike pussy?"
What upsets me is that they have no qualms about pissing on the quintescence of druids, but they refuse to acquiesce to the monstrous stupidity of bubble in the name of preserving a pally signature move.
Admit it. Say, my bad dog, and do away with it you stubborn befuddle jackasses.
Monday, August 9, 2010
EDIT: I do believe in karma, but my luck with drops/rolls is so bad, things can't get any worse unless blizz starts allowing for negative integers. So I dun care.
The Adventures of Neci the Arcane Mage
Can you guess which instance this is? Curse you scrubby pug dps who just happens to be a warlock when I'm on my mage!
This is from the time I ran into that hilarious gangster pug tank constantly bickering with the healer, but somehow managed to take us all the way to Anub.
This one's for Anea.
Friday, August 6, 2010
I came across lots of familiar looking icons, and I subscribed to all the sexy people I liked. I also subscribed to Rivs.
Okay, if Nelchalan of Gravedust hasn't submitted an entry for Vid's best dressed pally contest, I'd like to put this in on his behalf.
This should really be a t-shirt. He drew Ari's priest and it's pretty cool.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
NOT A SINGLE SET OF LOOT RULES ANYWHERE, is perfect. Every set of rules can be stretched and loopholes found - lawyers have been making millions all across the planet on this premise.
Very true. The intricacy and sophistication of loot rules, in itself, has no virtue. It’s all about the maturity and quality of loot participants. Loot rules don’t need an addendum; looters need an introspection.
This is the explanation of our loot guideline to the guild applicants in its entirety: Roll to indicate interest. You must practice good judgment to ensure equitable loot distribution.
Some of you are probably thinking, "What exploitable frailty and imperfection! I could drive a Boeing 737 through that loophole if I knew how to drive a Boeing 737." I know, but it’s worked for us with 100% efficiency and 0% drama, because we are awesome. It can get annoying at times because two people are trying to pass an obviously desired loot to each other and they sound like my sister and her boyfriend on the phone:
“No, YOU hang up first”
“Okay, okay, okay, how about we hang up at the same time?”
“Okay, One. Twoooooo. Three!”
“Tee hee hee hee hee hee omg why didn’t you hang up?”
“You were supposed to hang up too!”
When I first told about the loot culture, I knew exactly what was expected of me, because I learned that stuff in kindergarten. You’d be surprised at the number of grown-up applicants who didn’t make the final cut because they don’t get it. I realize most of them weren’t privileged to attend the Elite Ivy League Kindergarten for Ninjas like I was, but still, even the third-rate redneck kindergartens teach you how to share.
There are so many myopic idiots who’d kill the goose for an extra golden egg. Why on earth would you kick the goose’s balls, hurt its feeling, and kill it? If I had a goose like that, I hug it, feed it, and say nice things to it everyday.
Monday, August 2, 2010
I am terrible at naming things. I spazed out infront of the character creation screen, picked out the whitest blond belf, and gave it an Asian name. Luckily, I wasn’t on an RP server.
“Bal’a dash, malanore. I am High Arcanist Thesta’lonicleus of Eversong Woods. Where dost thou hail from?”
“Oh, herro Testicle of Nickle LOLs. I am the whitest blond belf. My name Jong Kung-Pow of Shaolin Wootang Tigers.”
“Uh… well… Al diel shala, and may the Gates of Sin’dorei be open for you, always.”
“Oh, ssang kyu. Extra egg foo-yong for you everyday too.