Friday, January 29, 2010

The Four C's



"I'm going to go with what is Crowd Control and Coordinated Cooldowns, Alex."

--

So Blizz made me into a liar cause Season 8 didn't start yet. Another week of being bored out of my mind.

To cure some of the boredom, I started on my taxes. I realized that in the past year, I've spent way too many Arena and Honor pts.

--

My RL (also my Arena Shammy) got that funny Abacus trinket. I lost the roll on it, but I didn't get mad---it's very fitting because he's an accountant IRL and just recently farmed his way into CPA exalted rep (GRATS).

I don't really know the diff. between a CPA and a non CPA, but I'm sure it has to do with the amount of gang signs he can flash out and how much whitegold he can floss on his calculator wristwatch.

The Abacus cost him no DKP because the whole guild is trying to butter him up into doing their taxes.

--

Forbearance is up to 89 followers. I don't think Jong cares anymore, but he should, even if half of that number is really Gnomeaggedon's alts.

I am going to go on a mini promo spree soon on forums to get more readers.



I guess I'll have to break down and register up at MMOChumps soon. Anyone know what kind of medical shots I need before I go there?

--

I am going to share with you a pair of rules that I go by, you might know them already by the Four C's.

The Four C's are:

Cash Carry
Cook Clean


The Four C's is merely a variation of the Two B's, which you might be more familiar with:

I Buy, You Bag


I prefer the Four C's over the Two B's. It's really a preference.

Just as long as you stop right there in the pattern, don't even think about going to the Six D's.

There's no reason to---the Six D's are either back problems for some poor girl named JennyJuggs or 20bucks worth of batteries to power some worthless CrashinThrashinRacer.

Anyway, back to Cash Carry Cook Clean:

If I'm out raiding liquor store with my friends or family, or maybe running a random heroic club with strangers, I default to the Four C's to help me navigate the social waters.

The basic premise is if I use the cash, you do the carrying, or viceversa.

So if we're out because we need more beer/liquor for the party and I'm fronting the money, well I hope you bowflexed this morning---cause the only muscles I'll be using are to put my dainty Coach wallet back into my D&B bag and looking damn good at it.

Do not mistake Cash/Carry as a "you owe me" entitlement, it isn't a "I paid so you do the grunt work, SLAVE" attitude. It's merely an invitation for everyone involved to give and take, to take a part. Team effort.

Consider what happens if I lay out the cash AND do the carrying. Sure, it was my treat, but on the way back to the party I'm going to feel bitter and not enjoy our spoils of war---why, because while my wallet is lighter, my hands are heavier lugging this bag of alcohol in 4inch heels.

You worthless sack of shit freeloader, wtf---I'm totally screenshotting this and sending it to Morons of the Week.

It's very important to practice give and take on a daily basis, and Cash/Carry helps all involved do it the RIGHT way. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that giving is somehow a higher form than taking, or that it allows and A-OK's for superiority complexes in a relationship.

That sort of thing just leads to bitter resentment which defeats the whole point of giving in the first place. I GIVE SO MUCH AND YOU DONT DO YOUR PART, WTF. IM ALWAYS TANKING, IM ALWAYS HEALING, RAWRWRAWAGFSagFSGA.

Uh, the only giving you're doing is giving out poison, don't you know that poison (nova) kills me?

Do you know that most of the problems that people bicker about with each other in social situations stem from give and take? And not from the lack of give and take---it's the incorrect way give and take is handled. Marriages, work relationships, WoW raiding/Arena, hotdamn.

Cash/Carry people. If you learn how to give and take in a team environment, free of entitlement and resentment, knowing the subtle difference between when it's your turn to lay out cash or do the carrying, then we can all get back to the party faster and rdy to rock.

Oh and you guys are smrt. I don't need to extend this to Cook/Clean at this point. Half of you are wiki'n JennyJuggs anyway and not even going to read this---I hate u all.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Thought on tanking

ONE

My guild has cleared everything in tbc and wotlk with two warrior tanks (our cat druid goes bear for 3-tank fights). There were times when we had to be a little creative, but running with two warriors has never stopped the show.

I don’t like drawing conclusions from one anecdote, but I think the “need” for ideal/preferred tank class for specific encounters is perception, not reality.

TWO

I had to tank the 10-man run yesterday, because the bastards in the other 10-man group saved all of our tanks. I don’t get to do this very often, so I was all wrong going into ICC-- Skittles socketed into belt, helmet on my feet, shield on my head, etc. The action bars weren’t even set up. The hunter pulled threat off me on trash, and I opened Cooking window instead of taunting.

The blood queen hits a lot harder than the stuff I’m used to tanking (i.e., UK trash and Frozen Tundra Penguins). My face’s all busted and I feel like the way I felt the day after I tried kissing the Mack truck hurling down the road.

THREE

If you follow Gevlon closely, you know he’s adamantly against “stam-stacking idiot tanks”. He’s a huge proponent of avoidance > stam.

Apparently, some dude stormed a thread in MainTankadin claiming his 5-yr experience says armor > stam and that numbers, facts, and data are not necessary to prove a point.

... yeah, seriously, you uber nerds who build partial diffusion models in MATLAB to calculate the probability-weighted impact of surprise buttsecks! Why are you trying to taint the truth with things like “facts” and “data”? My theories are from right here, the bottom of my heart. What did Bruce Lee say? Don’t think. Feel.

-_-

Why do they believe stam stacking is necessarily dumb? I don’t know much about tanking, but doesn't the optimal tank stat vary by fight? As in, is it slow big hits or fast small hits? Is it physical damage or magic damage?

I’m a scrub, so my equipment manager has ONE tank set called FrozenTundraPenguins, but Wrathy has many different sets: EH, Block, Anub, HP, Avoidance, Threat, etc.

I know HP is Hewlett Packard… not sure what EH stands for though.

SURPRISE BUTTSECKS MEGAN EDIT: EH stands for EHARMONY.

EH can best be related to EPEEN---while DPS EPEEN all over the place to see who's on top, EHARMONY is what tanks use to make their healers feel like specialflowers when the tanking/heals click together.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about---I storm mainspankadin.com forums all the time.

Monday, January 25, 2010

How Convenient



"We like ourselves, don't we?"

--

Has this sort of thing hit your server yet?



It's an upgrade from the LVL1 corpse spam that spells goldselling URLs like "susanlovesu" and "cartier.com"---usually near the bank/AH of a busy city.

This was apparently some botting program that controlled LVL1 dorfs and shifted them in formations (in midair) to spell out the URL. They were zipping around in front of Ironforge bank like it was Top Gun and they had bodychecks they couldn't cash. Actually I don't even know if that quote is from topgun, but Jong will pull this post later anyway so no one will know if I'm wrong.

The "midair" part was the freakiest---they had no visible buffs like levitate. I know the pic makes it hard to tell but I wanted to more importantly capture the "G" for 2 reasons:

1) The "G" obviously is the more important letter because it is a GOLDselling service. If they happened to be selling something else, like girlscoutcookies or gHarmony accounts (that's like eHarmony, but for goblins), I'd choose a diff---actually, G is pretty solid.

2) I wanted to be able to do the following, the final nail in the coffin from this post, gg:



But yah, wow. They got a serious upgrade in advertising.. and it's much more organized. The goldsellers must have an evil, dastardly ringleader now, a new frontman that organizes their efforts.

But who? Who can control masses of mindless LVL1 Dorfs to put up URLs and messages in a public sphere that is visible to all?

I wonder..





--

New Arena Season 8 this coming Tues! YAY!

I was very bored this week---no Arena. I also had to sitout for 25raids due to overflow.

ICC10 for me was a blur that involved killing festerface, rotgut, 1 wipe on Professor Petridish and 1bottle of wine.

If you play Arena, I'd like to wish you goodluck! If you don't and loathe PVP in anyform, I hope you like my upcoming posts slated for this month as I promised earlier.

Modified quote from legendary NAT SHERMAN:

"A man's GEAR will tell you if he has raided. His GEMS/ENCHANTS, if he has read EJ.

But if you want to know if he's a SPORT, see if he's wearing a good RATING."

Friday, January 22, 2010

My Territory

I saw this post office worker with a gigantic head of hair. Her hair > Tina Turner. I know the work dress codes have been casualized, but her mane was too much.

… oh I got it. She was just trying to say happy Chinese new year: it’s the year of the lion.

She also had a huge pair of hoop earrings. Maybe she wants to train baby lions to jump through the hoops.
======================

At a municipal golf course:

/grabs a driver

“This is Sparta! Ah-hoo! Ah-hoo!”

/WHOOSH

“Oh ffs. I need the Shadowmourne dad. Will you buy me the Shadowmourne? This driver is worthless.”

“Son, you are a warthog. You like resorting to brute force way more than you like thinking.”

“…”

“Look what you done to fairway grass. You think this rice field? You think they come tell you, ‘Oh, thank you for irrigating our fairway just in time for rice planting’?”

“…”

“Control your mind. I said emotional content, not anger.”
==========================

I liked the empathy post a lot. Gevlon liked it too, because it embodies one of his key philosophies of WoW and life.

I’m upset Megan chose Doktor Hardcore to illustrate her point. Why not me? I used to be Barricade, but I sent C to kick the living piss out of the Doktor and take his lollipop bowl.

Here’s a warning for all those aspiring to be Doktor Mean:

Being mean just for the sake of being mean doesn’t make you empathetic. “Let’s hug and cry together” and “Oh, FFS you nubs!” are both superfluous emotions that contribute nothing to solving problems at hand.

If you are being mean because you believe it’s synonymous with being empathetic and/or elite, you are trotting into my territory: Delusional Elitism—you think you’re elite, but you’re the only one who thinks that.

Delusional Elitism is my fucking territory. I discovered it and obtained a zoning charter from the governor of Texas. Don’t stoop down to this sacred ground, I OWN THIS.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Doktor Pathetic



"KNOW, YOU DONT EVEN NO."

--

When I ROFLstomp someone in a PVP encounter, I end up feeling:

A) ..sympathetic.

B) ..empathetic.

C) ..like ripping my shirt off and saying WUTNAO while spamming /sit on their corpse


If you chose A or B, well, keep reading this post.

If you chose A or B but WHATISTHIS IDONTEVEN know what those words mean, don't worry. I don't know English either.

And now that my cousin Ecwhcxejb (who tutored me in English growing up) is no longer in the country, you'll have to show some forbearance with me.

If you chose C, well you're looking for a different blogger, one that prolly starts with the letter J and ends with ongalicious.

My shirts are too expensive to just go and rip off everytime I pop a cooldown. This shit ain't Hanes, this ain't Woot of the Loom. This is Cashmere, Irish Linen, Merino.

--

Sympathy

I am not a sympathetic person. Sometimes sympathy creeps in on me but I detect it on my minimap and stop that shit in its tracks.

Sympathy is a blurred thing, because people usually associate it and/or interchange it with pity.

It's sort of how GG (good game) used to be used as a positive phrase at one point:

"GG chap, that was a very invigorating bout of competition---we must do this again sometime comrade."

Now GG is blatant trashtalk, so even if you try and say GG and really mean it, it's going to be understood as:

"GG muthafucka, I pwn joo 4 free---sukkkkkk on deeeeeeez brah."

Sympathy has the same problem, everyone just lumps it with pity. I have no pity.

I have no pity when I kill someone, take rating pts from them, farm and camp them for Honor.

The reason I have no pity is because pity is useless. There is no good that comes out of pity. Any positive "OH IM WITH YOU, I KNOW HOW U FEEL" talk is doing a disservice to everyone involved, no matter how "nice" it feels.

If someone got fucked over really bad in some way and is having a rough time, and you feel sympathetic, all you are doing is accepting a pity party invite. Come on in, free food, free drink! The covercharge though is priced at NOTFUCKINGSOLVINGANYTHING.

The openbar doesn't have a single premium brand, it's all bottom shelf stuff like Johnnie Stroller Black, Grey Swan vodka and Jill (swill) Daniels. This party sucks.

It's like a Doctor. When I go to my Doctor, I don't want sympathy. I want my Doctor to feel no pity. The MD on his license plate should stand for Mean Dick and on his door its spelled Doktor with a K because he's that hardcore.

I don't want "there there my child, sunshines and lollipop rainbow power, let's cry together"---I want him to figure out what's wrong with me and come up with a plan that'll work.

--

Empathy

Empathy on the otherhand, I have doublebinded to my spacebar. I jump alot in PVP so I always have empathy.

Empathy cuts pity off. Empathy is sort of like sympathy sans the touchyfeely nonsense. Empathy takes the situation and condition that the other person is in---it takes that knowledge and understands it, analyzes it.

So even while you get a picture of what the other person is going through, you don't join in any sympathetic qq. You use that picture instead to get right at the root of the problem.

When I ROFLstomp someone in PVP because they either suck, keyboardturn, their gear is shit, their skateboard broke and dog died on the same day, whatever---I understand. I understand, I know. I've been there myself. I've had shit gear. I've clicked spells. I've been bottom of the foodchain. I've been through that, I KNOW.

Even if I actually haven't had my skateboard break and dog RIP, I do know frustration, anger, sorrow, disappointment, alienation. I know.

I don't feel sympathy and pity---that's doing them no good. I can only show them my best and hope they learn from it. I don't go extra easy, I go extra hard in hopes they start picking up the things they need to pickup so they don't get steamrolled again. In hopes they see what's required of them to get through a difficult time.

Back to my Doktor, I do want empathy. I want him to understand and know about my situation and condition. If he does that while cutting off pity, he can get to cutting at me and what's wrong, literally and/or metaphorically.

Surgery? Let's go. Treatment? Bring it. Empathize with me, show me that you're on my side and you have a clue, but also show me you're not going to holdback cause of "nicey feelings" either and make this situation worse---let's get shit done.

--

In closing, there is a very fine line between sympathetic and empathetic---and the line is somewhere around pathetic. Don't be pathetic, don't coddle the pathetic. No one wins.

And now I'm not even just talking about WoW PVP. GG muthafucka.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Say Goodbye



"And I know it's hard---but I gotta do it."


--

EDIT: To avoid some confusion, this post isn't actually a "i quit" post or a "goodbye" announcement---it's a post ABOUT the manner of quitting and goodbye.

So no, my guestposts are up and running. For now. Eventually at some point, I will REALLY give Jong a 2week notice, but that's just a fact of life, all bad things must come to an end.


Need some quick input guys, I swear it'll only take a minute, you'll know when I finish, yaaaaah.

I told Jong at some point that when this guestposting gig has run its course, I'd give him the standard 2 weeks notice before I quit.

I'd be all nice and sweet about it. My usual italicized line beneath the header would be something poetic like:

"Everything I tried to remember to say just went out my head---so I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand."


He says that would be pretty fucked up because there's never a right time to say goodbye---if I wanted to quit, I should just quit randomly one day without telling him anything so he doesn't do anything drastic out of depression.

We all know how competitive he is, "2 weeks? OH YAH WELL I QUIT IN 1 WEEK, SUP WUTNAO??" or something. Whoa whoa, take it easy.. boy it's not you, it's me.

What you guys think? Oh, and to be totally not bias in anyway, I've already come up with the 2NE1 vid to embed that future, final post.



(or peep this one for better sound quality, sound only)

Why-Why - Why am I taking so long to say this?

--

Speaking of quitting, I got hit with some more bad news. My cousin who plays WoW is quitting the game. She called me up all hysterical on the phone in a fit of nerdrage.

I asked her what happened, and she said that some bag o tools got her account permabanned. I was shocked, she was one of the most helpful players I knew, she would always give me massive quantities of gold and abyss shards whenever I was in a pinch.

I looked her up on the brand new (and lagproved) Armory to find out that it's true---her character sheet no longer pops up and all the model viewer shows is a 3d image of a torn up work visa and a plane ticket back to Hong Kong.

So here's to my cousin---goodbye Ecwhcxejb, it's been a good ride while it lasted. May the person responsible for this get punted in the Recunt by Icehowl and festerrot in you know where.

--

I remember making this post last Wed, but later that night I don't remember much of what happened.

Oh yah, actually I do---goodbye Furious shoulders, hello to:





Thursday, January 14, 2010

Enter the Dragon

Tell me this isn’t the most auspicious name for a holy pally loot.
mmmkay, here’s a few more ideas blizzard:

[Hood of Negative Armor] for bear tanks
[Shield of Unmitigated Crushing Blows] for prots
[Cloak of Resisted Dots] for warlocks

Sounds pretty palatable, no?
====================

We should have gotten Insanity, but we went into phase 3 with the Exhaustion debuff. It was my fault-- I forgot that taking my shirt off triggers global Heroism.

Our pro MT grabbed Anub by the balls and whipped him around like it was nothing to worry about. I told him that was some legit maneuvering skillz, and he said “Nah man, tanking’s easy. I don’t even have a mouse-- I use my laser printer to strafe around.”

If you find whatever you’re tanking is giving you the stress worthy of loots and attention, you’re an amateur unfit for tanking. Go roll a ret pally and kill cobras in sholozar basin.
========================

I once received a scam blizzard email that looked so real. It was uncanny. I hope the scammer go DIAF, but I wasn’t angry. I appreciate his respect for my intelligence--the guy put in a lot of effort to legitimize the look and feel of that email.

On the other hand, I am pissed at Ecwhcxejb. I'm sure he has no intention of compromising my account, but he’s got no respect for me. He thinks I’m so stupid he can trick me with hello! cup your balls and go to a;sdlfkjaidvpaoijdof to chat with Ferraro #5!

=======================================
When I first started playing ret, I bound the spells on keys 1 through 5 so I can slide my finger back and forth...oh, what a huge nub I was.

Now I have transcended to the level of sustaining my dps just by looking at the keyboard. Don't concentrate on the finger, or you'll miss all that heavenly glory.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Shoveltusk



"Third eye blind."

--

Hi guys.

There's been some good reads and heated opinions on various WoW topics like:

Tanks/Healers vs DPS
Gearscore/Elitist Group type baddons
Dungeon Finder and who is carrying who

I'd love to chime in on some of these discussions and call everyone noobs, but I'm putting my focus on finishing this last week of Season 7 strong.



Go play somewhere, mommy's busy.

Not to mention I already spoke my piece of what I think of tanks and healers a looooong time ago on my retired blog. I got flamed alot for it, but I still stand by it---tanks are primadonnas and healers are pussies.

Have fun flaming each other without me. Just one protip while j00 get ur debatez on---try and see things as they are, try and see things as they should be, and then try and see how the 2 can be reconciled.

--

Once upon a time, there was a Duke who was declared ruler of Westguard Keep. He was to leave his place in Stormwind and travel to Northrend to take up his new position. He had been there once before to monitor a stage of the building project and was happy to move.

In the months of planning for this journey, he decided he wanted to finally get married and bring his wife with him on this fresh start. He began looking for prospects.

The city Tailor at that time had 3 beautiful daughters. One was a Mage, one was a Priest, and one was a Warlock. The Tailor presented all 3 to the Duke one day in hopes that fortune might smile on one of them with such a secure future.

The Duke admired their beauty, but knew that a partner in life should also be intelligent. So he told them that he would make his decision based on how they responded to a small test. The test was this story:

"One day while I was out in Howling Fjord with 3 of my close advisers, we came upon a Hunter who had just successfully trapped a Shoveltusk.

He was about to lay the killing blow, but I stopped him and ordered him to go away. I turned to my advisers and said, 'There is a beast here called a Shoveltusk---which of you can offer me its true definition?'

Now my 3 advisers were very smart and long trusted---but they were also physically blind from birth. Each of them grabbed onto a different part of the Shoveltusk.

The one who grabbed onto the tail said, 'The Shoveltusk is a beast that is thin, wiry and flexible---almost like a whip.'

The one who grabbed onto the mane said, 'The Shoveltusk is a beast that is furry, the hair is coarse and weathered---almost like a rug.'

The one who grabbed onto the tusk said, 'The Shoveltusk is a beast that is hard and rigid---almost like a bone.'"


After he finished his story, he asked the 3 daughters which person in the tale was the most wise and true?

The eldest daughter, the Mage, spoke up first.

"The wisest and most true was the 3rd adviser, who grabbed onto the tusk. While it is true that the beast does have a tail and a mane, its namesake, Shoveltusk, takes after the tusk itself which satisfies a true definition", she answered.

The next daughter, the Priest, spoke up second.

"This is a trick question and a very clever one. The wisest and most true is in fact none of the 3 advisers at all. They are blind and cannot see the whole picture---they can only grasp a single part of the Shoveltusk.

The one in this story who can see the whole picture is the Duke himself, who is standing back and looking at the advisers foolishly trying to cling onto the truth," she answered.

Then everyone looked to the youngest daughter, the Warlock. She had a terrible scowl on her face. Finally she spoke:

"This is indeed a trick question, but it is not clever at all. In fact it is quite stupid. None of the 3 advisers nor the Duke himself are the wisest and most true---in fact they are all stupid, with the Duke being in most error. The Duke prevented the Hunter in the story from claiming his hunt just to waste time with superficial nonsense.

In this case, the Hunter was the wisest and most true---had he been allowed to continue, the meat from the Shoveltusk could have fed his family and friends. The fur could have been turned into clothing to protect his family and friends from the cold. The bones could have been made into new hunting tools to teach his family and friends to hunt as he does, ensuring their future prosperity.

The Hunter had the true definition all along, but you didn't even ask him. Idiot.
"

The Tailor was horrified as his youngest daughter had just called the Duke an idiot.

"Oh, one more thing," said Braids. "If I were there, I would have killed you and your advisers on the spot."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tamarind is a LIAR

An excerpt from the Mighty Righteous Orbs:

Lady Deathwhisper I have no clue about whatsoever. The other thing the fight brought home to me was this: DPS Get Bad Press. There’s too much talk about interchangeable DPS, or stupid DPS, or DPS just not being as important or necessary as tanks and healers. Bullshit. In that fight, I stood at the back in my sissy room and cast flash heal and prayer of mending (everybody was generally too spread out for AoE heals to be very effective) and that was it. A monkey could have done it, assuming you programmed my flash heal button to give him a banana, or an orgasm, every time he cast it. The DPS, by contrast, were changing targets, running around, controlling adds, co-ordinating attacks on the shield – and I was so bloody glad I didn’t have their job.

Ditto Deathbringer Saurfang.

Ok, I’m confused. He’s saying healing is easy, but Gordon is saying healing is hard.

This can only mean one of three things:

1) Tamarind is a liar

2) Gordon is a liar

3) They are both telling the truth according to their paradigm-- hard is a relative term. Pro healers find it monkey easy and are completely secure about dismissing its challenges. Insecure amateurs are so traumatized by the pressure of healing that they feel inspired to prove their worth and give inferiority complex to dps.

EDIT: I tried raid healing once and the stress was unbearable. Fortunately, I failed in such thoroughly convincing way that no one will ever ask me to do it again. I'm a scrub healer and just like all other scrub healers, I think healing is hard.
=======================

What Tamarind is doing is actually an advanced epeening technique I invented a few years back: calling your job easy makes those who find it hard look like nubs.


You wanna get into an electronic pissing match? I’ll see your ape-operated healbot and raise you THIS:

Those who claim to faceroll ret pally dps are scrubs. Rigorous physical contact with the keyboard is entirely unnecessary, especially not in repetition.

I sustain my dps by just looking at the keyboard. The keyboard’s not even plugged in, but it’s there so I can rest my cigarettes on it. When the raid leader calls for burst dps, I take my shirt off.

What’s up now?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Nobody likes reading self-righteous preachy posts, but ...

“This ain’t no team! Ya’ll are bunch of individuals. All ya’ll!”
--Coach Benton (Jong's high school linebackers coach)
=============

I hesitated writing a response to Tanks and Healers Should Get The Biggest Rewards, because I thought it was either an obvious sarcastic post or an attention-drawing troll post.

Now I’m convinced that the author really believes the stuff he wrote.

To the extent he didn’t vomit all over the monitor after reading "they’re just meat in the room", I have serious doubts whether Matticus has a firm grasp on the concept of teamwork.

Raiding: It’s a Team Sport. You're damn right it is.

Anyone can provide a textbook definition of team, but not everyone actually understands the power and fragility of a team.

Do you know why so many so-called “progression raiding guilds” can’t progress even with all their time, gears, and skill?

It’s because those guilds have at least one Prima Donna who believes his role/efforts/time is more significant than those of others.

All it takes is ONE. All it takes is one guy to blurt out stupid shit like “[I am] the heart and soul of the group” to hose the entire raid’s vibe. He doesn’t even have to say it. All he has to do is think it and the raid is done—it’s no longer a team; it's a bunch of individuals.

A bunch of individuals will wipe on Dalaran Squirrel. Barney (that's what I named him) will shellac them with pride-obliterating bitch slaps.

Gears will drop. Skill cap is readily obtainable for the willing and the initiated. However, understanding and demonstrating appreciation for teamwork is a daunting task that many fail to complete within their life time.
=====================

"Thanks for everyone's comments... let’s not make a mountain out of a mole hill!"

By asking the readers whether we agreed or disagreed, Matticus implied there's a room for discussion on the topic.

Think of it this way: If Spitfire submitted that article as a part of his application to your guild, would you consider his candidacy seriously?

You know what my Warrior Tank GM would have done? He would have made the biggest fucking mountain out of molehill so he can crush his nuts with the mountain then give him a ginvite so he can gkick him on the spot.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A Door



"WHY U DUN BUY ME MONGOOSE NO MOAR."


--

I love Saturday posting.

No one reads posts on Saturday. I could write whatever the hell I wanted and it wouldn't matter because its Saturday. I could write an autobiography that has nothing to do with WoW, Ret, or Forbearance---and it'd still count to my 2 guestposts per week quota, ke ke ke.

--

I'm so happy that Jong finally revealed his Dorf Pally's name!

I had to try real hard not to accidentally slip and blow up his spot---it's tough being Jong when you've impregnated half the women in Azeroth, do you know how many dailies he has to do to keep up with childsupport? No wonder he kept it on the low.

I still wish he stuck with Jong as the name though, don't you? Or at least shorten the new one to Barri so he can Divine Plea when his Barri's Mana low.

--



From now on whenever I'm at a bar and some obnoxious tool is trying to impress me, I'm gonna say I don't give a fuck about your 6figures, this isn't an autobiography, this is a bar---pay this tab nerd.

--

If you remember my Rogue, she was el peor a month ago.



And now.. well, she's still the worst, but the best kind of worst.





She's ready for Season 8 when it starts in about a week and a half.

She's rocking iLVL 232 wpns atm which is higher than I had planned.

But considering the fact that ICC is out in full swing + the new heroics, I'm thinking my series of posts that illustrate an undergeared alts journey to 1800 rating with no previous MMR will still work---because iLVL232+ will be the new standard of "low on the totem pole" in gear in a sea of 251's.

It's not going to be a howto series of posts, it's going to be more theoretical/fundamental. If you don't like PVP or don't like Arena, or hell, you just think you'd be bad at it, I'm hoping it'll light a fire somewhere. Get your foot in that door, a door, any door.

And then later on when you hit 1800+ too, you can impress people until they tell you they don't give a fuck, this ain't an autobiography, nerd.

--

Megs, why do you play so many alts?

Because.. I love toons, I do adore.



//I love toons, toons, toons, toons
//toons I do adore
//yo put ya talents on this paper
//cause I would love to spec ya
//holla at ya when I see gear score, ya

//I got this Shadow chica, she don't like me to raid
//so she call me bad Word plus Shadow Pain
//said she likes to DOT things so she likes to Flay
//I'm like - un momento mami, Fade up ya tempo
//I got this Prot War, she don't know Thunda Clap
//always cappin out Defense, tauntin Aggro snaps
//she like listen Meg-a-M'am, I don't care if you blog
//you better - H E A L B O T me
//I got this Lock chick that loves to Succ 'BIS
//she think she 'cess Leia with her Braids in a twist
//my - first Class amor - to Soul Well
//Heaven - you fine as fuck but you came outta Hell
//I got this Druid Elf, the day that I made her
//asked her what Form she with, Fur Bark or Feather
//she said all you need to know is I'm not a Rogue
//and to get with me you better Shapeshift like-a-pro

//now that's Shadow chick, Lock chick, Druidic and Prot
//that's Fort buff, Mark buff, damn I'm gettin HOTs
//Lazer con Pollo, Mind Flays Shockwave
//an Affliction for Destruction but I roll for Plate
//I love -

//toons, toons, toons, toons

//I got this Rogue chick, she so immature
//she like why you don't buy me Mongoose no more
//like to Stealth out in public, Knife Fan-trums on the floor
//gotta Sap a couple Distract, just to shaddup her trap
//Got a Hun-ter Twink, that Flares her spark
//and if she Disengaged y'all that's my heart
//baby girl so thorough, she been Beast from the start
//hit my burst from the Marks, hit my fun in Warsong
//I got this Frost Mage that don't Cook or Sheep
//but she Ice her ass off and her Blink is mean
//only thing wrong with ma, she always Kite the scene
//goddamn she's fine, but she Portals all the time
//I get frequent Pally Power from my Retribeaut chick
//she look right in that Judgement skirt, she Crits
//she gives me extra Blessins and Cleansin love
//so I had to introduce her to Forbearance Club

//now that's Rogue chick, Ret Pally, Hunter and Mage
//that means I Vanish early, Bubble every phase
//that means I Feign Death, Ice Block escapin heat
//but I never have a problem with repair bills neat

//I love toons, toons, toons, toons
//toons I do adore
//yo put ya talents on this paper
//cause I would love to spec ya
//holla at ya when I see gear score, ya

Thursday, January 7, 2010

dps paladin

Do you remember the dark TBC days when DPS Paladin was an oxymoron? Little Big Toe. Jumbo Shrimp. Christian Bisexual. DPS Paladin.

And look where we are now!

Yo soy un paladín DPS, y estoy en el fuego.

I was inspired by the words of Mencius, so I walked up to a girl at a bar:

"Hey baby, what’s your unbuffed crit at? You mind if I utilize your recu…."
I suffered a minor concussion, which is what happens when your brain ricochets amok.
===============

As soon as I teleported to the Upper Spire, I was like, whoa, free boat ride for three! and got owned by the Air Frogger 2.0.

Festergut runs on a 5-minute enrage timer. It's a straight-up dps check, which means it’s time to really utilize recun…
Your ninja assassination rouges will own this fight. It's probably not the most ideal encounter for ret pallies, but I still done real good, because I’m Jong.
World of log parse.

Posting recount on your blog--hey look at me!--is a terrible idea. What if somebody goes, oh yeah? how you like THESE apples? and you look dumb.

I like them apples. I made a pie.
==========================

Sometime ago, TooManyAnnas wrote, PvPers aren’t asshats--Asshats are asshats.

Very true. For every PvP asshat you call out, I’ll show you two PvE asshats. I’ll see your lolol, and raise you lolwutkek.

Have you read Hoff’s posts? He’s got crazy arena rating, and he’s the nicest, most amicable guy. I generally come off as an overly humble and reserved ret pally, but if I had Hoff’s arena rating, I’d be talking so much smack we wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation. I’d add WUT NAO?!?! to the end of every sentence.

Players who excel in both PvP and PvE are a rare breed, but when I see them in raiding scenes, they are awesome.

Unlike your average PvE’ers, they don’t freak out when things don’t go according to the “script”. WTF! What is this unfamiliar looking pool of crap they fail to highlight with MS Paint illustration on StratFu?

They are also very versed in use of utility spells. I ran heroic toc with this holy pally in relentless gears. She was dispelling so fast, I didn’t even know I was sheeped. Preemptive dispels… what a fascinating concept.

Oh, and this mage. He was a dps with the situational awareness of your Super Star OT. Jaraxxus was like, Imma charging my fire ba… COUNTERSPELL… talk to the hand, ok? Talk to the hand.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wetribution Meters



"Menciustral cycle---sorry, I had to."

--

One of my favorite reads is Mencius. I read his stuff when I want a casual break from the rigors of plowing through Vogue.

"If a man is ashamed of his work, he has only to turn to the practice of manhood-at-its-best. Engaging in manhood-at-its-best may be compared to archery.

The archer corrects his own stance and then shoots. If, after shooting, he misses the target, he does not get angry with those who did better. He simply seeks out the defects in himself."


--

Most think that Recount has to do with epeen (that's the technical scientific term---for you ghetto fab slang users, internet penis) and its size and worth.

This is where people go wrong, because its not a penis at all. It's a vagina.

Let me explain. Recount is more like a vagina because:

1) When a vagina is used for pure utility purposes, it either pops out a baby (new life) or gets rid of waste (better life).

2) When a vagina isn't used for pure utility purposes, someone is just getting fucked.


There you have it, you heard it here first on Forbearance, a blog dedicated to the "raiding wetribution paladin's soul"---Recount is actually Recunt and has nothing to do with penis.

When used to test a spec/rotation/whatever to give birth to a new standard of play or when used to pinpoint and eliminate specific problems in an encounter, vajayjay++.

Anything else is fucking around. For pure entertainment/enjoyment purposes, you might as well go straight for the addon Critoris.

Monday, January 4, 2010

the great baseball analogy I totally thought of first

Hai Gusy!

First, I have a question because I have a score to settle with someone.

In your professional heroic chain pugging opinion, which of the following is nubbier?

a) Falling off the ledge in FoS and having to run all the way back because no one can rez you.

b) Dying to Gundrak snake boss’ Poison Nova as a ROGUE.

In order to help you make an informed, impartial decision, let me just tell you that somebody pushed me over. Let me also add that a rogue dying to poison is like hunter getting shot to death by a warrior.
======================

From Syrana's gift-giving post:

Well, you know how I like to keep soul shards of those I encounter as a sort of trophy… Do you have a secret stash of trophies that we don’t know about?

Dress shoes. My dad told me that well-maintained shoes win games.

I use cream-based polish and shine them with non-abrasive cloth (e.g. cotton panties). I put shoe trees in them and store them wrapped in imbued netherweave.
======================

Double Standards

Several bloggers have opined on the principles of bringing the A game to heroics. Like a good lawyer, I can build effective arguments from either side. If I were to take a step back and look at the big picture, I’d end up with a baseball analogy. Ari wrote it, but I thought of it first, so I win.

RNG HEROIC PUGS

I’m willing to carry the scrubbiest nubs with no complaints. It’s not because I’m trying to heal the world and make it a better place for you and for me and for anti-human race. I couldn’t care less about them. I love me, and since they’re not me, I don’t care.

I’m willing to carry them, because I’ve conducted a cold, objective cost-benefit analysis, and the benefits of quietly carrying them exceed the emotional cost of getting involved with them in any sort of way.

RNG heroic is a neighborhood drunk JV t-ball league. It’s easier to slug out 5 grand slams by myself than trying to enlighten them with Yoplait contest messages: Come on! TRY at least! Please Try Again.

RAIDS

I have the highest standards for raiding etiquettes. Proper gems, enchants, and spell rotations are basic. It’s so basic that mere discussion of it is embarrassing. You know what else is basic? If there was a hidden achievement called Start 5 Consecutive Raids at the Posted Raid Time, 95% of the guilds would fail, and I wouldn’t touch those guilds with a 10-foot pole.

I hold such high standards, because no individual can save the day in a competitive raiding environment; it requires all of us to bring our A game. If the hunter messes up ONE misdirect on Anub’s burrower, it’s a wipe. If the pally misses ONE holy wrath, it’s a wipe, and there’s nothing superstar tanks, healers, or Alex Rodriguez can do about it. Welcome to MLB.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Time to Rock



"It's music to the ears---even Blood Elf ones."

--

Linking this again to terrorize Belfwetter (plus it has to do this with post):



--

Pantigen wrote earlier in comments:

How you have time to type out custom-made song lyrics when you're busy at work is beyond me...


I'll respond quickly here while he's in MIA on a trip to Germany so he can't backtalk.

I'm one of those people who constantly has music in their head.



I will listen to anything at least once, I don't hate on a genre cause of a few bad apples, I might be missing out on the gems. Plus, sometimes stuff can be so bad, it's good. It works with bflicks and cult movies, it works with music.

I am a sucker for a good bass line, uptempo violins and brass---hell, a glass bottle of Coke and 2 chopsticks can do it for me.



My Goddaughter received drums this past Christmas from her parents. I laughed at them, because of the noise she was going to make in their house (my Mother would have ducktaped my hands to the "quieter" piano if I had ever mentioned something like drums back in the day).

So the Warlock and Pally inside of me had a quick discussion:

"She's getting drums!"
"Yes, we should get her lessons so she can learn and fine tune her musical potential while she's still youn---"
"WE'RE TOTALLY GETTING HER ROCKBAND2 + THE DRUMS TO ANNOY HER PARENTS DOUBLEPLUS!"


She was very happy while sitting behind either of the drumsets. I told her she rocked, she said NO I DRUM. No, you "rock".. NO I DRUM.



Anyways, like I said I've got music in my head 24/7. This is because certain lyrics or segments of the instrumental will stick with me long after the song has stopped.

I'm sure everyone has experienced having a "song stuck in their head" but for me, it gets stuck and then spreads to whatever else I'm doing on a daily basis, work, commuting, etc.

So when I'm playing WoW and it happens, well.. the parodies write themselves.

MOP's Ante Up becomes "Queue Me Up, yo sap that fool, he wanna grind honor, corpse camp that tool" when I'm in WSG pwning the hell out of people.

Daft Punk's One More Time becomes "One More Phase, we gon' heal-a-tank, oh yah alright, don't stop the looting" when the raid is pushing into an epic phase3 Anub.

Don't look at me like that.

By the time I get to opening up "new post" days later, most of the song has been pretty much already converted to WoW related stuff in my head, the rest is just filler fluff or setting in links or namedropping other bloggers. Anyone who has blogged knows, if the content is pretty much fleshed out already, everything else is so easy even a Destro Lock could do it.

I guess you could say, it just comes together nicely and I enjoy it---when you enjoy something and then some, it doesn't take long at all.



--

2010 is official. Yes, it's just another year, just another decade.. but you keep adding stuff to a year, you remix it a little, you spin it with your personal style, and oh what a wonderful time it becomes.

Let's rock.