Thursday, September 9, 2010

Prot Warriors on Prot Pallies

First, please keep cata spoilers out of reach of children (and me).

Is it because I don’t like opening Christmas presents on Thanksgiving? Not really. What I fear is much worse. The memory of my 8th grade Christmas still lingers... I thought I was getting Nintendo 64, but I got a Santa Clause sweater instead. It scarred me for life.
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Warriors are way cooler than paladins, period. If I could do it all over, I'd be a male orc fury warrior named HelloScream. I'm telling you, if I were a SM wielding fury warrior, things would be different. Echo Isles would have been reclaimed at 3.0, Whirlwind and Cleave would have gone through series of massive nerfs, and the world financial markets would have never seen the credit-induced recession. My DPS be infusing more liquidity to the system than the TARP fund.

No one does a better job of bashing on paladins than me. I take pride in that. Today, however, I feel obliged to bash on all the insecure prot warriors making fun of prot pally rotation. Why you gotta be giving them poor saps inferiority complex?

I am a ret pally... so watching the how to play priest video on youtube, I felt like a McDonald's employee sitting in a particle physics lecture. double u tee eff.

Now, prot warriors busting on prot pally rotation is like a Taco Bell employee making fun of McDonald's employee: LOLOL your auto fry timer is so faceroll. L2 think outside the buns you nubs!

GTFO. Prot pally rotation is lulz easy and prot warrior rotation is stupid easy. They're both ridiculously easy. If you find that prot warrior mechanic is even remotely close to anything having the slightest nuance of "difficult" or "challenging", you aren't qualified to be a tank. Go roll a retpally.

What are you doing "thinking" about your rotation anyways? It should be like breathing. Do you sit there consciously observing the intricacies of inhale/exhale mechanics? It should just float off your finger tips while you tend to the real task: orchestrating the efforts of clueless scrubs running around flopping they arms.

Do you know what separates pro tanks from amateur tanks? Hint: It's not the rotation.

13 comments:

Tirael said...

I agree with this post 100%. DO NOT DELETE THIS POST. You are 100% right Jong.

Rokusho said...

DO NOT DELETE

Anonymous said...

Difference between a good Warrior tank and a Bad one:

Good ones will use Warbringer til they eventually appear behind the last boss 5 seconds into a dungeon and then proceed to WTFPWN Him!

spinksville said...

Yeah, it's not about the rotation :)

It's about when you're in the ruby sanctum and you pull a pack of trash mobs, so you're doing your best AE threat moves and so is the pally tank .... and a few secs in, all the mobs love him more. Why is that?? I'm loveable too and I'll shieldbash anyone who says otherwise.

Where is the mob love? *sob*

Kaelandros said...

You have just written your 'all-time greatest post' according to me.

Jong said...

@Spinks

I'll write a response post next week.

Bee said...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/b/0/5/b055e85dd1c97988827cabb7163cd87d.png

where:
m is the rest mass of the psychic scream,
c is the speed of penance,
p is the bubble spam,
x and t are the space and time coordinates,
ħ = h/2π is the reduced DPS aggro grab constant, also known as Dirac's constant.

Bee said...

broken link above:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/b/0/5/b055e85dd1c97988827cabb7163cd87d.png

Bee said...

Yeah, wow. I fail at posting.

http://i54.tinypic.com/2dkhndk.png

River said...

Being inducted into the upper echelon of Prot Pallies...

My TPS rocks....wait TPS does stand for Toilet Paper Skills right?

Cause my ass is clean yo!

Bell said...

I enjoy the spam of DO NOT DELETE!

You've got 'em on the run, Jong.

Rhidach said...

I'm going to print this post up and gently caress it while Mariah Carey plays in the background.

Katherine said...

Now that 4.0.1 has hit I want to see some Jong wisdom on the changes.