Thursday, February 25, 2010

I just remembered how therapeutic blogging can be

Hai gusy!

Job searching is kicking into high gears, and I think I'll be settling on something soon. I can't wait to get out of this town. They have great tacos here, but I could never get a decent hair cut; I asked for a professional looking interview cut but they got me the Mexican pastor cut.

I'm still recovering from a really bad interview I had last week. The interviewer was a freakishly smart guy and spoke with a heavy Eastern European accent. I bet he used to build nuclear bombs for USSR and made a career change into quantitative finance after reading the testimonials on monster dot com.

Did he bust my balls?

Nope, he blew them into smithereens. The left nut kinda blew up right in its place. The right one shot off, ricocheted into the corner baseboard, and rolled under the table.

"Here," he said after kindly picking it up and dusting it off, "I believe this belongs to you."

I walked out of the room quivering. I haven't walked like that since I was circumcised in 4th grade.

It's stupid, but I often find myself forming an opinion of a group because of one person. Because of Bruno, my former colleague, I think the entire country of Portugal is AWESOME.

Bruno was fresh out of school with a PhD from UCLA. He was also pretty fresh off the boat and had difficulties with American slang. Screw Driver was his drink... with grey goose, I think.

I remember this one night we were working on a project together past 10 pm.

"Yes! FUCK YES!" I yelled as I banged the desk. "We got it Bruno! This is it! Awww shiiiit, we're gonna get some vodka and OJ tonight!"

"Yes Jong!"

/high five



"I know O is for orange, but what does J stand for?"

Last week, I asked my GM to change my rank status to non-raider (I'm a dirty casual now). I also let Megan know that I won't be blogging anymore. It wasn't an easy decision, but at least I waited until after February 14th. I've had lots of preemptive early December break-ups to avoid incurring costs for Christmas and Valentine's Day.

Hwa Mulan was the best BAD movie I've seen lately. Chinese made a real movie out of Disney's Mulan. It was a low budget epic-scale movie, so the epic battle scenes only had 20 guys in it with recycled extras: "hey, didn't that foot soldier die at the last battle? twice?"

Anyways, there's a scene where Hwa Mulan kicks the living shit out of three guys in a barrack. She was like nuh-uh, you can't Tai Chi this and owns everyone. I thought, holy crap, that's Megan.

I told her about it and she said I make her sound like a vicious person.

"Well," I said, "but she only flips out when it's GO time. Other times, she's a big softy girly girl who cries for her friends and family-- DADDY, WHO DO YOU LOVE THE SECOND MOSTEST?"


"She secretly volunteered her service into army so her sick father can stay home."

I've had a blast with Forbearance. Thanks for the good times and memories.


Monday, February 15, 2010

Blueprint (part I)

"We are, yah I said it we are."


I once took a really basic architectural drawing class.

I was pretty terrible at it. It started off with easy stuff like point of perspective and scaling, but then as the course went on it turned out to be more math and crap I didn't really care about.

When I say pretty terrible, you're prolly thinking one thing.. I'm telling you right now, you're undershooting.

I used "pretty terrible" because everyone downplays their weaknesses and shortcomings and dammit, I won't stand to be left out standing alone from what the crowd does---that'd be pretty terrible.

For reasons that God only knows, a game of 9ball with a few beers and half decent music, I shoot just fine. But turn all that into some paper, a straight edge and a mechanical pencil and I want to shoot myself.

I did learn this though---if for whatever reason, you find yourself in a position where you drawing a straight line of some sort (and no, line of coca doesn't count) means the difference between:

1) everyday business as usual
2) bridge collapsing and the killing of innocents

..well, you're in that position, so draw a straight line fucker. That line better turn out so straight that Avenue Q looks like Avenue DIGITAL CLOCK ZERO with a FIVE O CLOCK shadow. There's uhm, a lot riding on that line you see.

I messed this one blueprint up pretty terribly. The teacher told me I just killed dozens of commuters because I couldn't draw a straight line---I wasn't even a Warlock back then.


There are 3 general "throwaway" answers I read on forums/blogs/bumper stickers when it comes to discourse about PVP and/or PVP vs PVE related topics.

Of course it comes from diff people/sources and the word usage varies but they can be generously paraphrased as:

"I don't like PVP."

"I'm bad at PVP."

"I don't mind PVP, but I prefer PVE."

On one hand, it's not my job to make you like what you don't like, force you to do something you're bad at. That's your mother and raidleader's job.

On the other hand, I bring it up because those 3 throwaway answers are throwaway for a reason---they are built upon lines that weren't straight to begin with, they are the results of shoddy planning, skimped materials and subpar construction.

Throwaway wasn't conjured by clever Mages or crafty Warlocks. It speaks for itself---throwaway, garbage. Why are you spewing garbage?

That's a pretty terrible blueprint, and I'm not even just talking about PVP or WoW even. In any situation if you find yourself giving a throwaway answer that is based off of nothing but feelings or shallow experience, well, you didn't even deserve to hear the question in the first place.

I read a lot on forums and blogs how everyone wants "mature and adult" participation and "civil and constructive" comments---yet I see throwaway answers left and right.

I don't know about you, but I'm an adult---part of being an adult is when you carry the responsibility that follows the answers you give. Part of being constructive is when you actually construct something that is built to last for eternity.

It starts with a straight line and sooner or later, you'll run this town.


Now that I've made a pretty terrible post while the rest of the WoW blogging world is going off on secret fadmirers---stay tuned for part II in which I'll explore some of the answers you should've considered all along.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

shadowmourne and the 1st interview

As we were buffing up to make the initial pull, the GM announced, “Okay, Bobby and Sammy are the two winners of the Shadowmourne Raffle! Grats guys.”

Uhm….what? What raffle?

I checked the guild forum in a panic, and apparently, there was an epic thread entitled “The Official Shadowmourne Raffle” that’s been going on for two weeks.

When I flip open a Yoplait carton and see Please Try Again message, I just think, oh, Yoplait is having a contest I’m not aware of and I couldn’t care less. I can’t say the same about missing out on this one.

There were five viable candidates, but the two winners won the raffle uncontested. The DK deferred his entry, because he can’t make all the raids for the next few weeks. The other ret pally is a really selfless guy and he passed the prized loot to others. I just had no clue. I’m sitting here licking off blue berry yogurt off the aluminum foil.

Since my company blew up last November, I’ve been living the dreams. Last week, I decided drinking single malt scotch and playing wow all day is totally overrated.

I’ve been busy interviewing lately.

My pup Sandy can sense stuff real good. He knows whether you are scared of him or you like him. You cannot let him zone in on your weakness. I explain to house visitors that dogs are pack animals and packing order (I’m the Alpha Jong, which means I’m the only one allowed to hump cushions in this household) is important to them; you’ve got to establish your position firmly without pissing him off. Otherwise, he’ll cast decimate and chop your legs off, kk?... what a vague and ambiguous pitbull survival guide.

Interviewers will sense out weakness within 12 seconds. I can’t let them do that, because then they’ll fire at will. I’ve got to go in there and respectfully instill fear in their hearts. The fear of backfiring—what if I ask this question, he delivers with flying colors, then asks a follow-up question that I can’t answer and I’ll look stupid? I’ve got to make them put their guards up and hesitate throwing bomb right hooks.

Interview #1

In my hotel room, 25 minutes to the show. The company lobby is just across the street.

I stood before the mirror and addressed the Mont Blanc pen cap peering atop the shirt pocket one last time:

“What did Mufasa say to Simba? Remember who you are. You are Jong, the illest ret pally they never known. You’ve read every economic commentary from every investment bank. You’ve dog-eared their 150-page 10k filing. You can recite the attack power coefficient for judgment seal procs. Eye of the fucking tiger. Let’s DO THIS.”

Just as I bent down do apply one final buff to my shoe, I heard the ominous thunderous rip. RIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!

My pants.

It was ripped, and I’m not talking about just a little bit. The seam was busted open from the waist line all the way down to my crotch. I turned to assess the damage in the mirror and the red and yellow sunflowers on my boxer were waving hi at me.

I thought about calling in to cancel the interview, but what I do say? I regret to inform you that I won’t be able to make the appointment today unless you consider Adidas sweat pants and wing tip shoes appropriate business attire.

I decided to wing it.

I’ll just pretend it’s one of those disguise quests—I can interact freely as long as I don’t let anyone see my behind. I’ll stand with buttcheeks firmly clinched and if my cover is ever compromised, I’ll act really surprised: holy crap! how THAT happen?

It was a 5-hour interview and I never got up. I’ll tell you about interview #2 later.

Making bad decision is bad, but making no decision is worse. Your pants are ripped and you just happen to be wearing an underwear that cannot be taken seriously in any former business setting. What course of action would you have taken if you had 15 minutes to execute whatever plan you came up with?

The Bossy Spoon and the Giant Pally compiled a pally blog list. I'm offended that this classy & elegant blog is in the same category as Antigen's blog (pronounced an-TEE-gen).

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Eyesore, Earscore

"Sense us."


My Eyes and Ears have been subpar lately.


Try doing /who Jong.. yah, same thing I get, where the eff is he?

All last week I kept my eyes on the back of milk cartons at Trader Joes to make sure, you know, nothing dramatic happened.

Nada zip.. oh I know, he must just be busy rerolling for Gevlons raid in blues project. He had mentioned to me before his interest in it:

"I want to join Gevlon in his crusade that everything can be done in just Blues."
"Oh? To show everyone that it just comes down to hardwork, skill, patience and dedication?"
"Nah---if everyone else is in Blues, I totally have a shot at getting the legendary axe."

Well ok.. I was relaxing last night in my usual way (alcohol) and it struck me---it's not milk cartons you dummy.. you've been looking in the wrong places..

So I spazzed out and flipped it over like my name was Rohan in a 3d vehicle fight, and there on the back label..


Do your part. When the servers come back up and you first login today, go into a city and try /2 ANYONE SEEN JONG? HES MISSIN

CAPS are important btw---everyone knows that no one reads stuff in trade unless it is in CAPS.

It's sort of like every time I read one of Tama's posts---it's so wordy that I just skip to all the stuff in CAPS and endup making 1 long runon sentence with just those words.

I say the incoherent string of CAPS babble to myself, studdering and stammering so terribly that even my Canto speaking friends DENY me invites to their raid convos because my Earscore is just way too low.

You may call it failing at reading comprehension or just plain laziness, I call it I just got doublehaste procs with heroism up, the boss is at 19%, it's Stammer of Wrath time.

Anyway, spam trade, get ignored/banned, whatever---it's for one greater purpose, making sure our beloved Jong is found safe. Record all responses and we'll get to the bottom of this!

Friday, February 5, 2010


"Ya'll wanna party like we do?"


Do you know what happens when addons go out of control? The stars align and the universe is never the same.

Critoris has just assaulted the lumber mill.

In case that doesn't settle in right away, I'll break it down for you. Like Texas, there's only 2 things that come from the lumber mill:

1) Wood.

2) Elemental Shammies jolting electricity through peoples bodies and then shooting them off a cliff with a concentrated storm of thunder. Those unfortunates then have to hit release and wait a bit before swinging back into action with full HP an---wait a sec..


So Arthas is dead.

I don't really know what happened in regard to the drama kill---I've read a few things here and there but the fact is the stars aligned and the universe isn't the same anymore, so I can't trust any of you. I'll trust Star mag though.

Can always trust aline from Star.


I do know this though. Jong made fun of my Pally for being an engineer at some point. Oh, nice aviators. Now why don't you engineer this Lego Star Wars Death Star in the corner over there like a good lilgirl and leave the real DPS to me. And make sure it looks like a moon.

A whole guild got banned because of Engineering. No one got banned because Jewelcrafting and Blacksmithing.

It's like going into an airport. The more jewelry you wear, sure the security check in becomes more annoying. If you've got extra socket holes in your pants, maybe you'll get some weird looks because you're either a deviant or you overpaid for yuppie Diesel jeans.

Bring a Saronite bomb though and there's gonna be drama.

"Oh, you silly non minmaxer. JC/BS is #1 for dps professions."

"That Ensidia Rogue threw more bombs than Funkmaster Flex and djkool combined. Arthas is dead and now that the universe is no longer the same---let my clear my throat, JC/BS stands for Just Cut the Bull Shit."