Friday, January 22, 2010

My Territory

I saw this post office worker with a gigantic head of hair. Her hair > Tina Turner. I know the work dress codes have been casualized, but her mane was too much.

… oh I got it. She was just trying to say happy Chinese new year: it’s the year of the lion.

She also had a huge pair of hoop earrings. Maybe she wants to train baby lions to jump through the hoops.
======================

At a municipal golf course:

/grabs a driver

“This is Sparta! Ah-hoo! Ah-hoo!”

/WHOOSH

“Oh ffs. I need the Shadowmourne dad. Will you buy me the Shadowmourne? This driver is worthless.”

“Son, you are a warthog. You like resorting to brute force way more than you like thinking.”

“…”

“Look what you done to fairway grass. You think this rice field? You think they come tell you, ‘Oh, thank you for irrigating our fairway just in time for rice planting’?”

“…”

“Control your mind. I said emotional content, not anger.”
==========================

I liked the empathy post a lot. Gevlon liked it too, because it embodies one of his key philosophies of WoW and life.

I’m upset Megan chose Doktor Hardcore to illustrate her point. Why not me? I used to be Barricade, but I sent C to kick the living piss out of the Doktor and take his lollipop bowl.

Here’s a warning for all those aspiring to be Doktor Mean:

Being mean just for the sake of being mean doesn’t make you empathetic. “Let’s hug and cry together” and “Oh, FFS you nubs!” are both superfluous emotions that contribute nothing to solving problems at hand.

If you are being mean because you believe it’s synonymous with being empathetic and/or elite, you are trotting into my territory: Delusional Elitism—you think you’re elite, but you’re the only one who thinks that.

Delusional Elitism is my fucking territory. I discovered it and obtained a zoning charter from the governor of Texas. Don’t stoop down to this sacred ground, I OWN THIS.

8 comments:

River said...

Delusional Elitism- Where do I sign up!

HP said...

omg the license plate says pwn?

!

Why did I just notice it now?

gnomeaggedon said...

Any chance I can rent a bit of your territory?

No?

Is the place next door for sale... The block of flats that proudly declares itself "Delusional Noobism"?

I think that's where I belong... I'm sure I can't play the game, but for some reason everyone else races me for the dirt nap.

Ixobelle said...

Delusional Elitism—you think you’re elite, but you’re the only one who thinks that.


HOLY FUCK. DO YOU WORK AT BLIZZ AND HOW DID YOU KNOW THE NAME OF WOW2?!

i R Dave said...

actually.. it's the year of the tiger.. not lion..

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. I never looked at it this way. But your description.. it just fits! :| Delusional Elitism, i know someone who suffers from that!

Thank you SO MUCH for making my day! <3

Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Amiable fill someone in on and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.

Anonymous said...

nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter.