Monday, January 4, 2010

the great baseball analogy I totally thought of first

Hai Gusy!

First, I have a question because I have a score to settle with someone.

In your professional heroic chain pugging opinion, which of the following is nubbier?

a) Falling off the ledge in FoS and having to run all the way back because no one can rez you.

b) Dying to Gundrak snake boss’ Poison Nova as a ROGUE.

In order to help you make an informed, impartial decision, let me just tell you that somebody pushed me over. Let me also add that a rogue dying to poison is like hunter getting shot to death by a warrior.
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From Syrana's gift-giving post:

Well, you know how I like to keep soul shards of those I encounter as a sort of trophy… Do you have a secret stash of trophies that we don’t know about?

Dress shoes. My dad told me that well-maintained shoes win games.

I use cream-based polish and shine them with non-abrasive cloth (e.g. cotton panties). I put shoe trees in them and store them wrapped in imbued netherweave.
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Double Standards

Several bloggers have opined on the principles of bringing the A game to heroics. Like a good lawyer, I can build effective arguments from either side. If I were to take a step back and look at the big picture, I’d end up with a baseball analogy. Ari wrote it, but I thought of it first, so I win.

RNG HEROIC PUGS

I’m willing to carry the scrubbiest nubs with no complaints. It’s not because I’m trying to heal the world and make it a better place for you and for me and for anti-human race. I couldn’t care less about them. I love me, and since they’re not me, I don’t care.

I’m willing to carry them, because I’ve conducted a cold, objective cost-benefit analysis, and the benefits of quietly carrying them exceed the emotional cost of getting involved with them in any sort of way.

RNG heroic is a neighborhood drunk JV t-ball league. It’s easier to slug out 5 grand slams by myself than trying to enlighten them with Yoplait contest messages: Come on! TRY at least! Please Try Again.

RAIDS

I have the highest standards for raiding etiquettes. Proper gems, enchants, and spell rotations are basic. It’s so basic that mere discussion of it is embarrassing. You know what else is basic? If there was a hidden achievement called Start 5 Consecutive Raids at the Posted Raid Time, 95% of the guilds would fail, and I wouldn’t touch those guilds with a 10-foot pole.

I hold such high standards, because no individual can save the day in a competitive raiding environment; it requires all of us to bring our A game. If the hunter messes up ONE misdirect on Anub’s burrower, it’s a wipe. If the pally misses ONE holy wrath, it’s a wipe, and there’s nothing superstar tanks, healers, or Alex Rodriguez can do about it. Welcome to MLB.

12 comments:

S.Blakemore said...

Your name should be a Verb. When a raider takes off their shirt after a wipe and does a war dance to get psyched whilst pounding their chest and screaming "we have the powerrrr!!" it should be called Jonging.

I bet there's a million other examples where one can Jong but I'll leave that up to other people to decide.

Arioch said...

Maybe you did write the baseball analogy first and then deleted the post. =P

thedoctor said...

@Arioch - OooooOoOOoo

gnomeaggedon said...

I don't care one way of the other in the random dungeons.. we are all there for 1 thing.. emblems. if someone is just running through them for the 1st time as an added bonus they might get gear, just as we did once a long time ago.

Raids, or even organized 5 man... that's a different story.

I have a painful Uld10/GearScore/Achi posting story in the works.. I was just so angry at the time

Vulpina said...

I agree with Blakemore, I have a raid tonight and I'm going to show up all Jonged up and ready to go right on time.

Your posts make me cry with happy Jong.

<3s for you.

Vulpina said...

Oh, and as to what is nubbier, a rogue dying from poison nova is def nubbier. Cloak ftw.

I mean you could run off the edge for tons of reasons, but a rogue dying to poison... for shame. Should just write lol on your grave.

casualaddict said...

Firstly, how was the rogue dying to the poison noves? Was he afk? I don't understand how that happens.

As for the 5-man pugs, the content is so easy, I don't know why people insist on gearscore, or kicking fresh 80's. I mean, didn't we clear these in blues with a handful of epics when WotLk first hit? I agree with you, it's just easier to carry newbs and just knock it out and get your badges.

Paul said...

Carry me please. I need the gear!

Hana said...

I don't mind carrying the fresh 80s through heroics. They don't stop me from getting through the instance as long as they have a halfway decent head on their shoulders, and the vast majority of them do, even the guys in the heroic UP run I did where my holy pally ended up #3 on dps. As long as they don't do anything stupid like running ahead and pulling when the tank's not there chances are we can do the instance. The game was made for the average player who doesn't read up on strats and meta-gaming.

But I definitely hold the standard for raids. I badger my raiders any time they have an unexplained absence or tardiness, I expect them to know the fights, know how to gem and do their rotations. They're the basics. I shouldn't have to ask.

Is falling off the ledge in FoS the new sign of nubness? It seems I keep running into people with stories about that now, and it just happened to someone in my pug a couple days ago.

Syrana said...

I would have never guessed shoes. Hair gel, maybe, but not shoes. :P

Hatch said...

"I’m willing to carry them, because I’ve conducted a cold, objective cost-benefit analysis, and the benefits of quietly carrying them exceed the emotional cost of getting involved with them in any sort of way."

Supreme words of wisdom, Jong. I also have to add that:

"Proper gems, enchants, and spell rotations are basic. It’s so basic that *mere discussion of it is embarrassing*. "

=YESYESYES

Rilandune said...

The Rogue dying to poison nova in Gundrak is definitely the greater nubness. That is shameful, I will report him and have his Rogue card revoked.

I have not yet fallen off in FoS and no-one in any group so far has either... though I must say I would like to do it just to say I have - intentionally of course and not during a fight.

I have absolutely no problem with carrying fresh 80's through heroics. I certainly was carried many-a-time when I first dinged 80. Every so often I'll come across a tank that can't hold aggro to save his life or, my favorite, a DK pulling less than 1k dps in H:CoS.

What I mind is when someone queues up as healer for a heroic random, under res sickness, not having run as a healer before, and never having run Occulus or even knowing how to pilot a drake. That really gets my blood boiling.