Thursday, January 7, 2010

dps paladin

Do you remember the dark TBC days when DPS Paladin was an oxymoron? Little Big Toe. Jumbo Shrimp. Christian Bisexual. DPS Paladin.

And look where we are now!

Yo soy un paladín DPS, y estoy en el fuego.

I was inspired by the words of Mencius, so I walked up to a girl at a bar:

"Hey baby, what’s your unbuffed crit at? You mind if I utilize your recu…."
I suffered a minor concussion, which is what happens when your brain ricochets amok.

As soon as I teleported to the Upper Spire, I was like, whoa, free boat ride for three! and got owned by the Air Frogger 2.0.

Festergut runs on a 5-minute enrage timer. It's a straight-up dps check, which means it’s time to really utilize recun…
Your ninja assassination rouges will own this fight. It's probably not the most ideal encounter for ret pallies, but I still done real good, because I’m Jong.
World of log parse.

Posting recount on your blog--hey look at me!--is a terrible idea. What if somebody goes, oh yeah? how you like THESE apples? and you look dumb.

I like them apples. I made a pie.

Sometime ago, TooManyAnnas wrote, PvPers aren’t asshats--Asshats are asshats.

Very true. For every PvP asshat you call out, I’ll show you two PvE asshats. I’ll see your lolol, and raise you lolwutkek.

Have you read Hoff’s posts? He’s got crazy arena rating, and he’s the nicest, most amicable guy. I generally come off as an overly humble and reserved ret pally, but if I had Hoff’s arena rating, I’d be talking so much smack we wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation. I’d add WUT NAO?!?! to the end of every sentence.

Players who excel in both PvP and PvE are a rare breed, but when I see them in raiding scenes, they are awesome.

Unlike your average PvE’ers, they don’t freak out when things don’t go according to the “script”. WTF! What is this unfamiliar looking pool of crap they fail to highlight with MS Paint illustration on StratFu?

They are also very versed in use of utility spells. I ran heroic toc with this holy pally in relentless gears. She was dispelling so fast, I didn’t even know I was sheeped. Preemptive dispels… what a fascinating concept.

Oh, and this mage. He was a dps with the situational awareness of your Super Star OT. Jaraxxus was like, Imma charging my fire ba… COUNTERSPELL… talk to the hand, ok? Talk to the hand.


Miss Medicina said...

I am offended by your lack of faith in the jumbo shrimp.


/cajun out

For the Pie said...


Pie > all.

Arioch said...

As soon as I'm done laughing at this post, I'mma hafta agree with my fellow Cajun, Miss Medicina. /wave

I also got eaten by the new Frogger. The hunter was yelling in vent GOGOGOGO so what does a mage do? Blink right through that shit and land smack dab in the next.

casualaddict said...

I just started playing a ret pally on The Forgotten Coast and,despite having a pally on Archi as a main for two years, I never ever tried ret.

Well up to level 48 or so it was incredibly boring. Deadly but boring. Since getting a few late tree talents and Crusader Strike... he is the most p[owerful toon I have ever played. I can't imagine him at 80 in epix.

Also, I think all raiders should Arena to train situational awareness. It's like reflex training.

Miss Medicina said...

@For the Pie

The only solution to this argument is Jumbo Shrimp Pie.

And I'm just not that brave so I guess we're just gonna keep on arguing.


Steven said...

As a mage, I offer this sage advice.

Don't try to blink through it. You'll blink into the next one.

Fuubaar said...

Mages... amirite?

Thinkin they can defy all of the laws of the game & just Blink past the goo or Iceblock when some crazy monster runs head on into you. Your precious Ice wont save your ass nao!

Jumbo Shrimp > All
Chuck Norris Round house kick > Face

Nuff Said.

For the Pie said...

It's freaking cold outside. I have a rule that normally applies to hitting girls, but has a few caveats. I doubt you'll meet one of the I won't be hitting you, so the fight will be kinda one sided.

Or we could just go have shrimp for dinner and pie for dessert. Just saying..

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