Monday, November 30, 2009

Chess Pains

Hai gusy!

I hope everyone had vernice Thanksgiving. I flew home to Virginia to see my famiglia.

Speaking of famiglia, I remember this all-Italian wedding I went to. The groom's brother yelled my name out from the other side of the reception hall:

"Hey Jong! Come here boy. Joo want me to kiss you or shake yo hand? I can do bof."

The whole time I was home, I was either hungry or sleepy. My cousin thinks tryptophan in turkey meat makes him sleepy... no dumbass, you're sleepy because you ate four plates of turkey. You eat four plates of anything, you feel sleepy, kk?

I was touched by Megan's thanksgiving post, so I went up to my dad, forced myself onto his lap and asked him, DADDY, WHO DO YOU LOVE THE SECOND MOSTEST?

My favorite episode of Frasier is Chess Pains. Frasier could never beat his dad (Martin) in chess. Why can't I, an established doctor, beat an old man in the game of wits and strategy? Frasier cannot stand Martin's smack talk and becomes obsessed with the game to prove himself.

When Frasier finally wins, he jumps from the seat with excitement--Yes! I did it!

"Good match son." As Martin slowly walks off with the aid of his cane, Frasier is hit with unexplainable pain and sorrow.

My dad is 65-years-old and I still cannot beat him in arm wrestling. I hope that day never comes.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Best Play

"I'ma let you finish."


Sorry guys, this is going to be another throwaway post, my brain is fried.


I spent a lot of time with my Goddaughter---which means I got to learn about Drake and Josh's 2v2 Arena Rating, watch how Princess Tiana did the Argent Tournament daily totally wrong when she kissed a frog without the lipbalm item, and listen to the Silky sounds and spellthreads of Tailor Swift.

The last one actually, I don't mind---I'm ashamed yes, but I don't mind. SHE WEARS T10 SKIRTS, I WEAR RELENTLESS NITRO BOOSTS, SHE'S HEAL CAPTAIN AND IM CAPPIN FROSTWOLF.


Jong, come back quick..


The Best Play

//I'm Level 5, it's gettin cold, I've got
//my Gray Cloak on
//I hear your "lol" and look up smiling at you
//I Autorun
//past the Pumpkin Patch and the Fargo Deepened Mine
//I've got no Gold
//I hug your legs and fall asleep
//on the Griff home

//I don't know why all the Greens change into Bl~ues
//I know you're not scared, and I am just a Noo~b
//don't know if Hogger's Quest is near or far away
//but I know I had the best play with you

//I'm 80 now and don't know how this PUG
//could be so mean
//I Hearth home crying and you hold me tight
//and grab your Steed
//and we Mount and Ride until we found a Zone
//far enough away
//and we talk and Fish some Trout 'til I forgot
//all my shame

//I don't know who I'm gonna Raid with in I-C-C~
//but I know I'm laughing, on the Mount Run through Z-G~
//don't know how long it's gonna take to Gear ok
//but I know I had the best play with you

//I have an excellent Healer
//his Heals are making me stronger
//Threat smiles on my little Tanker
//Bosses and Adds he's better than I am
//I grew up in a pretty Server and I had space to run
//and I, had -
//the best play with you

//there is a video I found from back when
//Level 30
//you setup a Group Quest and we took a run
//to S. Monastery
//it's the age of Arcane Doan and Herod's Axe
//and Fear Ward for Dwarves
//Mograine says that Whitemane's the prettiest lady in
//the whole wide world

//now I know why all the Blues change to Ep~ics
//I know you were on my side, even when I G Q~uit
//and I love you for listen' to my cries
//stand back and watch me rise and
//I didn't know if you knew
//so I'm taking this chance to say
//that I had the best play with you

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thanksgiving List

"Make yourself useful."


This will be my last post until Thanksgiving is over and done with. It's a long one because it has to.. well, last duh.

I told this to Jong, but took a nice long, dramatic pause after "last post"---I never seen a man cry so much, pitiful really.

Afterward it was kinda awkward, he said it was just some Infinite Dust that got in his eye or maybe his Shoveltusk allergies flaring up again.


I finished up the Pilgrim holiday nonsense. I don't know why I did it, I mean I had already capped out Cooking Hardmode a few months ago.

Hardmode Cooking, if you're not familiar, is just like regular Cooking except there are stricter timers (esp. on medium-rare), limited attempts (like 1, cause you shouldn't waste food), bigger splash damage (esp. with large flasks of oil), and greater rewards (feeding Bridezilla + her drunken family/friends = paycheck, not stinkin' badges).

The Troll Rogue thing was ez pz, I just bugged a Shaman guildie. See, they are useful for more things than Heroism/Bloodlust:

The Turkinator one was not pretty. I think I ninja'd some turkeys (if such a thing is possible) and ruined the lives of people who were on a 39 streak. All in the name of Thanksgiving. I felt bad afterward, but then I realized it was just probably my Shoveltusk allergies.

Braids has a great time with Turkinator. She didn't get the achievement, but still had a great time.

It started out as a great plan to kill 40 turkeys around Goldshire really quickly and sell the meat to lowbies with no mounts but who needed to level Cooking---but she got easily distracted and started killing 40 of anything that moved.

I gave up on her when she eventually ended up in the Deadmines, murdering a good portion of the Pirate population.


When I was little, I asked my parents lots of stupid questions.

One day I walked into the kitchen and started my usual act to beg for my mother's attention. She interrupted me (had me on focustarget macro) and said go annoy my father because she was too busy making 200+ handmade dumplings on Hardmode to oneup and showup that bitch of a sisterinlaw. In the name of Thanksgiving.

So I found my Dad, he was sitting and reading a newspaper. Time to go ask him!

I forced myself onto his lap, blocking his view of his paper---see, LOS doesn't just work in arenas.

I asked, "Daddy, who do you love THE MOST?"

He said, "I love God the most, you know that."

Ok fine Dad, textbook answer. But not the one I wanted.

"Who do the LOVE THE SECOND MOST?" (second most totally makes sense when you're young btw)

He said, "I love your Mother the second most, she is my wife and partner in life."

Again, not what I wanted to hear.

"Who do YOU LOVE THE THIRD MOST?" (notice how more and more CAPSLOK appears as my frustration grows)

He said, "I love my Mom and Dad the third most, they taught me how to live and made me what I am today."

WTFFFFFFF. I was totally expecting to be #2, but not even #3 now! This was a slap in da fase.

He continued, "And now before you ask for THE FOURTH MOST, keep in mind I'm really, really keen on the outdoor grill your Mom bought me last Christmas.."

Gee thanks Dad, you wiseass.


One of the things about WoW is how much you can forget that you're not the most loved. You're not the center of the universe, as a child thinks he/she is (by default). Everything does not revolve around your sole existence. Even if that's the answer you didn't want to hear.

You forget this easily because WoW is a MMO, you create a character---the character is positioned on the center of your screen and all your interaction with the game and other people comes from this avatar representation of you. Your toon, your loot, your achievements, youyouyou.

Your eyes and brain are glued to the character on the screen. You love your toon, your toon is getting stronger, geared, capped. And then all of a sudden you find yourself in the same boat with 9-24 other people who forgot exactly what you forgot---that your toon and existence in this game isn't #1, isn't the most loved, isn't the most important.

This is where drama, strife, stress, ego and all things teethgnashing stem from. Stupid, child stuff.

When I asked my Dad that stupid question, I was looking for a specific answer, ME.

He didn't give me that answer---instead he showed me that the question was stupid in the first place by poking fun at me.

He rattled off a list of the various people and things he loved. It was a lesson, a hint---my question should have been "Daddy, do you know who I love?" and it should also have been a list, a list not about me.


Happy Thanksgiving---it's a good time to realize that having a list (and showing it) is always better than expecting to be at the top of a list.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Tzar of Cosply and Loots

I think I did ok at the TNB interview... except I drank too much Jack Daniels and started spilling my guts out-- I LOVE YOU GUSY, MAAAAAN.

There have been talks of Ice Crown. I'd love to whine about this new gate concept, but I can't, because I have no idea what's going on.

Generally speaking, I'm happy with where the game mechanics are/have been.

I'm really easily amused. If Jaraxxus pulled out a laser pointer and wiggled it around the coliseum, I'd chase that thing in circles for hours with a huge-ass smile...amg amg laser laser laser!

All I know is that there's a legendary axe in the patch, and if I don't get it first, I'm gonna throw a hissy fit.

Survey: Assuming these bloggers played a character that could wield a 2h axe, who do you think is most likely to voluntarily pass the axe to a guildie?

C) Gevlon
D) Jong

If you said D, I'd be really hurt, because that means you don't know me at all, which means you don't even care. I already started preparing a 15-page Power Point presentation on Why Jong Deserves the Axe. If I don't get the axe, I'm gonna throw down ONE MONSTER #iblamesyrana.

BRK wouldn't pass it. If he were still playing his hunter, I bet he'd write a post entitled How to Gem the New Legendary Hunter Axe. Put three +20 agility gems in it and you're good to go, kk? Strength scales well with pet DPS too, yah yah.

I almost wanna say it's BBB, because he seems like a genuinely selfless player who looks out for his peepz. Any rebuttals from Sidhe Devil raiders?

I'm gonna go with Gevlon. Here's why:

There are lots of people who hold double standards with respect to upgrades. They are willing to cause all kinds of drama and throw their teammates under the bus for a piece of loot. At the same time, they'll dismiss the shoulder enchants, proper gems, and flasks as negligible.

Gevlon is in the good-enough-is-good-enough school of thought, but he applies that standard to every type of upgrades. He scoffs at the most expensive enchants just as he is lukewarm toward a legendary axe. He doesn't place any emotional value on loots. If it makes "mathmatical" sense for someone else to get the axe, he'd have no problem passing it.

Friday, November 20, 2009


"Just writing it down is never enough, but it sure is a start."


You know, I wasn't going to bring this up---but now that Jong brought up how he had to re-familiarize himself with what the big white, porcelain telephone is called, it'd be a waste not too.

I've been moved in with him for over a month with this guestposting arrangement, so obviously there's some weird territory issues going on. At the start, it was the standard cliche stuff.

No more drinking milk straight from the carton. No more leaving a trail of socks and underwear from the entry door to the couch to signal you've had a rough day at work. No more leaving a collection of empty whiskey bottles along the window sill and calling it decor.

And those were just some of the ground rules he pulled on ME. Whatever.

Fine, I'm a big girl. Let's move on to the bathroom. The bathroom in any guy-girl cohabitation is like a Battleground, more specifically Isle of Conquest. There's tons of stuff going on like siege vehicles, bombs, parachuters from airships---and you're not quite sure what or where you want to fight for first.

"Megs, I know the toilet seat is a very sensitive issue when it comes to you girls."
"I'm so proud of you---did you read that on MMO Chumpion?"

The position of the toilet seat, whether up or down can make or break you. I quickly pulled out my old macro for Thaddius, modified and printed it out---I taped it to the top of tank where it was clearly visible.

So far he's been compliant. Lately though, I've been sensing some real passive aggressive hostility about the whole seat thing.

He hasn't missed the up-down thing ONCE---but he has replaced the old lid cover with something he pulled from his Prot offset, the one that looks like this:

And it's ALWAYS DOWN when I go in there. I'm fucking disturbed on so many levels.


WoW Manifesto

My name is Rafa.

And my Rank is Marshal.

I'm all Pally, I'm all Class.

Built not to Grind Honor, but with Honor.

Not to Talk Crap, but to Recap.

My Rank is Marshal.

I carry a full payload.

The loyalty of my Teammates, the love of my Competition.

I carry Reputations, I carry No Excuses.

And I deliver the goods with or without Forbearance.

My name is Rafa.

And my Rank is Marshal.


If you have a blog of your own and want to flex your creative muscle, feel free to turn this RAM MANIFESTO into one of those accursed WoW MEMES via:

My name is X.

And my Y iz Z.

Have fun---I'm off to try and remove this Titanium Shield Spike that Jong put on the new toilet lid cover. He thinks he's so clever.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The State of 3.2 DPS and uhm, this Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood

The other day, Megan’s brain didn’t show up so she did a throw-away post.

My brain showed up, but the right brain started yelling at its flaky cranial twin for socketing the wrong gem into the ring. The left brain stopped coloring the unicorn on his diary and conjured up expressive protests about killing the innocent dalaran squirrel.

The two sides aren’t working together. I walked into the bathroom and picked up an object called shampoo. I know for a fact that its name is shampoo, but I have no idea what its uses are. Do I put it on English muffin like I do with grape jelly? I stood in front of a porcelain structure affixed to the floor. I know I’m suppose to pee into it, but I cannot remember what it’s called.

It was Desmond Howard’s first punt return in NFL. He received the ball and started running laterally with the intent to out-corner everyone with his speed… uhm… what are you doing Desmond? Do you think this is Nebraska Cornhuskers with bunch of fat uncoordinated kids? This is NFL.

There’s been an influx of applications to the guild.

Under the question, “What is your primary role and value-adding proposition in end-game raid contents?” a feral dps applicant responded,

“I can outdpsed rogues. I have never been outdpsed by anyone in pug heroics.”

If I wanted to comment on that response with a positive spin, I’d say I like the candidate’s confidence and competitiveness.

If I were to formulate a comment just as unconstructive as the applicant’s answer, I’d say I have never been outdpsed by frozen tundra penguins either. Welcome to NFL.

Since joining my new guild, I’ve been outdpsed by every class. I’ve also outdpsed every class.

The fact that I have uncanny instincts for systematic face rolling and run 40 in 4.2 no longer guarantees me a consistent top spot on recount. Everyone can do that around here.

One’s placement on damage meter boils down to the mechanics of the fight and to a lesser extent, RNG.

If Icehowl cuntpunts you to the other side of the room or your cat decides to trot across the keyboard at a particularly inopportune moment, you’ll fall behind.

If you happen to catch a red hot critical streak while your buddies are riding the waves of glancing blows, you’ll come ahead.

When the 3rd moon of Venus is aligned with Pluto, the planet of personal transformation, and the libido in the air is just ripe, nobody is going to touch Arcane Mages on Jaraxxus or the Twins. Nobody. Fights with consistent, controlled raid damage are arcane mages’ territory, so if they smoke you, there’s no shame in your game.

...Jaraxxus is so dumb. Doesn’t he know that mages will spell steal Nether Power and beat his head with it? He’s like those silly ret pallies who pop wings on mages…

Similarly, when the stars are aligned, nobody can touch unholy dks on Anub, FC, Freya, or Algalon. Fights with bunch of secondary targets hovering around the primary target are dk’s house. So, if Hatch happen to skool me on those fights, I wouldn’t be embarrassed.

3.2 is the era of arcane mages and unholy dks.

You know who need some buff love? Shadow Priests and maybe Boomkins.

Seriously blizz, the ONLY fight where a spriest has any hope of outdpsing me is Flame Leviathan, where he’s sitting on a demolisher spamming the crap out pyrites while I’m hunkered next to a parked chopper completely immersed in bon jovi‘s greatest hits.

/s oh, what I’d give to run my fingers through your hair.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Most Wanted

"A witch yes, a snitch no."


Work is picking up like it was 3.3's LFG system. UGH.

Quickie, throwaway post today. It took me 5min.

Now I'm going to Bladestorm a bagel with tons of creamcheese and Beserking proc'd.


What if Blizz decided to crack down and arrest WoW bloggers?

Would you rat people out to save yourself? Would you go underground and stickittotheman?

Who'd be the top10 most wanted?

I'm not expecting answers btw---I'm just trying to setup this link love but my fuckingbrain decided to not show up today, sigh.

Blizz Blog Police

//go, go, go, go, go, go
//keep typin' missy
//go, go, go, go, go, go
//they on the feed
//go, go, go, go, go, go
//keep typin' missy
//go, go, go, go, go, go
//they on the feed

//with so much drama in the M-M-O
//Blizz Blog Police are listening
//becareful or you'll be history
//looks like another Banned Account I-P
//it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//ah it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//yah it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//somebody tell 'em it's blogging
//blogging was the case and they blamed me

Braids + Blizzard:
//Ghostcrawler I didn't do it, you can't blame me for Crits
//could please loosen up the Nerf cuffs on my wrists?
//you can call me what you wanna man, but I ain't a snitch
//no cooperation is exactly what you would get
//'til I talk to my G-M, what I get no say?
//you've obviously been reading too much B-R-K
//I'm not a Test Dummy so don't even try
//to spam ya number trash to me, yo' Recount lies
//if you not O-P of anything, then why did you run?
//cause you the Dev Team and plus I saw you D-R your stun
//and Test Realm wasn't empty there was obviously Bugs
//if you think I'm believing that one then you obviously dumb
//huh? - I know that you heard the whining, you dived in
//to the Flying Mount you was driving and riding in
//instead you shouldn't be whining about dying
//Battlegrounds nah it's obvious that you lyin'

//with so much drama in the M-M-O
//Blizz Blog Police are listening
//becareful or you'll be history
//looks like another Banned Account I-P
//it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//ah it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//yah it's blogging, blogging, blogging
//somebody tell 'em it's blogging
//blogging was the case and they blamed me

Braids + Blizzard:
//stop lying to me Lock, it'd be best you confess
//I can smell the Healthstone on the scent of your breath
//saw the Destro I was inspecting your Spec
//saw that you was bloggin' dirty when I looked R-S-S
//who is this guy IXO, who is this guy Squid?
//who is this other Troll who Critically Q-Q's?
//look at this screenshot, they standing beside you
//tell me they game now, I heard they flame Blue
//confiscated the blog feed of one of your posts
//for evidence ever since we heard some of your songs
//what about this Jong guy, he was on one of your songs
//I coulda sworn he said he had a Socket full Dreadstone
//am I wrong? - hell yah I don't know who that is
//I don't know no Rets see, all I know is I Crit
//and Ima log like Lincoln, bet I A-F-K quick
//you ain't gettin' out of here you must think you have wits
//in the blog we confiscated Four Healz and Blessed Kings
//Clearly that you Cast and all the Troops Grimm
//on the Big Bear booklet we found ya too Spinks
//ya thumb and ya index, how dare you spread Links

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Ridiculous Control

"Good Lord, they're working together!---we're fucked."


Wow you guys.

I didn't expect such enthusiasm, 'cause the second after I hit "publish" on that one, I felt guilty.

I mean hey, strip off all that rhetoric and flair and what you have is:


And what kind of blogwhores would you have to be to resort to something like that??



One thing I keep seeing over and over re: Pallies, specifically Prot/Holy and Prot/Ret related issues is that "Prot" is ridiculous and shouldn't exist. They'd argue that the Prot tree wasn't designed and intended that way.

First of all, design and intent are way over most of our heads.

If you were to give a random, average player of WoW the power of design/intent control, I'd fear for my life. I see this IRL all the time---people think they know what they want but they don't, or even worse, want something for the wrong reasons (eg to spite someone else) and end up being worse off.

Secondly, Prot/X specs are pretty damn fun. The talents click together and add up nicely---is it really wrong for a Pally to have a spec that you know, works nice and neat?

There's a reason why people can go off on 10+ page flamefests about WTF 1/3 Talent X is CLEARLY OPTIMAL OVER 5/5 Talent Y. They're arguing over a single talent placement, but the bottomline is clear---making sure every talent point spent has a purpose and role in the overall build so that it works.

Prot/Holy gains offensive utility (still based on 30sec+ cooldowns, not spammable) that the other healer classes have had (in their case, spammable) for 5+ Arena Seasons and 1 full XPAC.

Prot/Ret gains some survivability in a WOTLK world of damage, which every class struggles with because the DPS required for PVE encounters has scaled terribly with player HP pools.

If going 50+ into Prot tree to either heal or DPS in PVP and having it work wasn't the intent, the real problem is that the Holy and Ret trees are lackluster. Especially Holy. Holy is friggin' terrible---beyond 31 points into the tree, there's nothing else needed to make "healing" work for the generic Pally. Now that's ridiculous.


Paladin issues as represented by Controllers:

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Traffic Lights

When you were a kid, did you run around the house with a cape, pretending it's Varian's Furor? Instead of a cape, I ran around with an arm sleeve made of 100% wool even in 95 degree August summer heat. Lincoln Hawk was my hero====================

Do you like traffic lights?

I was in Strand of the Ancients near one of the docks. I got into a 1-on-1 show-down against a Resto Druid.

The tree had been kiting me up and down the coastal line for what seemed like 20 minutes. At first, he was nervously spamming big heals on himself. After he realized I couldn't do anything to him, he started casually smelling the breeze and picking up sea shells. He picked up the branch I broke off his arm and wrote KEVIN LUVS SALLY on the sand... and watched the waves wash it away. I think he was using me like a training dummy that attacks so he could test his HPS.

At that point, I don't care about the BG anymore. If everyone busted through the chamber and pissed all over the sacred relic, I wouldn't care. I wanted the druid.

Just when I was about to plop down and cry, this beautiful creature... a night elf rogue... jumped out of the shadows like a ninja and stunlocked the shit out of the tree. Go ninja. It's your birthday. Go ninja. It's your birthday. I HOUSED the tree in no time with the rogue's help.

"Le's go," said the heroic rogue just before disappearing into the night.

I hate traffic lights when they're red, but I love them when they're green.

I hate rogues when they're on the other team, but I love them when they're on my team.

Everyone who participated in the Circle of Healings survey, look what Spinksville had to say about your tedious, facepalm-inducing jeeberish:

Also, I’ve seen a lot of rather tedious tank and healer questionnaires going around? Who the hell cares what your favourite spell is? *facepalm* It’s the whole package you should be looking at and how they fit together.

I had to read that several times, because I wasn't sure whether Spinks is really that condescending or just doing a hilarious impression of Gevlon doing an impression of Dakota Fanning.

Don't listen to Spinks guys. You know who cares about your favorite spell? I care. Yes I do.

In fact, let me tell you about my favorite spell, Avenging Wrath (wings).

I'm sure many hunters can relate to the sweet nostalgia of the glorious TBC days when 41/20/0 Beast Masters used to rule the world with 3:2 steady shot macro and Bestial Wrath.

I think popping BW and watching the Big Red Kitty flip out is one of the most exhilirating and empowering experience in all of wow.
I like Avenging Wrath, because it grants me as almost as much authority as Bestial Wrath. AW is not as cool as BW though:

1) AW comes with less horse power.

2) AW doesn't grant me immunity to fears, stuns, snares, and getting man-handled pwnt in really embarrasing ways.
I wish I screen shotted that fuckin mage who spell stole my wings, but I couldn't because I was too busy running and typing /bg halp stable halp.

EDIT: I see a lot of bloggers coming down with sickness. Take good care of yourself and your loved ones.

Gnomer and out! Squidly and stout!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Number Following

"How strong am I---I'm too strong."


Hey guess what? It's been a month! Wow, time flies.

Let's see.. I said I'd guestpost around 2 posts a week.. and I've done 8 so far. Go me!

Whenever I login to post something I see this:

Jong's follower base should definitely go up. It's at 45.

My dead blog still has 60+.

The two numbers, while in the bigpictureofthings aren't important, should definitely wifeswap. Please help us rectify this if you've got a bloggeraccount and haven't followed yet.

If anything, you'll be helping Jong personally. He doesn't like to admit it often, but numbers do it for him---I hear he screenshots and prints out past recount meters from raids where he's been #1, and tapes it to the toes of his shoes.

When someone puts him down and forces him to hang his head down in shame, he then gets a quick glimpse of the POWERWITHIN, right there on his shoe. His chin shoots straight up, his shoulders broaden, and he grips his finance portfolio like it was a 2hander---"negative, it's time to put you down".


One of the reasons I agreed to guestpost around here is I like it. I just like it.

The vibe, the mood, what the blog stands for (goes beyond the impeccable hairstyling techniques and love of jwalkerblack).

I find very few blogs that take this approach---most are very solid reads, but the washing instruction tags on my clothes are solid reads too. There always seems to be an emphasis on:

How to beat X encounter.
How to gem Y.
How to do Z rotation.

Washing instruction tags.

Before I joined this blog, I read it religiously and even tried to ninja the writer for my own blog. Why?---because the emphasis was on something more important.

How to beat X -> becomes how to beat X with all your heart.
How to gem Y -> becomes how to gem Y with 20+ TOOSTRONG instead of 20+ Strength.
How to do Z rotation -> becomes how to do Z rotation and make people believe in miracles.

The former is fine, solid. They are instructions to follow, follow them and you'll do ok.

The latter, the latter is something else---it's an invitation to follow. When the emphasis is not bogged down with little +1/-1 numbers and more on your heart, you'll do much more than ok. I personally invite you to follow and see the difference.

You'll skyrocket to a place where you can't be put down by anyone, a zen place of peace, knowing that you did everything in your power and more to not let your team down. And you didn't do that out of guilt or just to follow instructions---you did it because your heart wouldn't have it any other way.

And you're going to invite more people to follow.


In case my preachiness backfires and Jong's followers actually goes DOWN in numbers and I'm fired in a month, it was nice knowing all of you.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

[Your Spec/Class] is Faceroll

I was hanging out in dal bank minding my own business and looking at the floor tile patterns.

This warlock named KanyePest runs up to me and whispers, "lolret is so easy to play. it's sooooo easy. lol"

/crickets chirping

... so, then we're staring at each other in awkward silence, because I have no idea how to respond to his remarks. He doesn't know what else to say either.

I was speechless, not because I was offended in any way, but because I really didn't know what I was supposed to say. If I just knew where he was going with this, we could have held a perfectly normal, healthy conversation.

Maybe he wanted to play Let's Blurt Out Random Obivious Statements and he envisioned a conversation like this:

"Lolret is easy!"

"Uhm...bacon is delicious!"

"Megan Fox is hot!"

"Errrrm...puppies are cute!"

"Uh... uh... damn, you win."




In which case, I feel really bad, because I totally messed up.

Maybe he was trying to illicit a nerdrage-imbued statement of defense so he can laugh at me:

/lip quivers

"No! You are a liar! Retribution Paladin is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating class! You don't even understand!"

In that case, he just picked a wrong ret pally. He should have spoke to the guy named Frog on this forum. Because, I didn't feel inferior or insecure or anything.

For the sake of discussion, let's assume that playing ret is like riding a bicycle and playing warlock is like piloting Boeing 757 with flashing dashboards all over the place.

If a random pilot walked up to Kevin Robinson, the BMX Mega Ramp World Record Holder, and said, "Riding bicycle is soooo easy. My 6-yr-old niece can ride it too. lol", do you think Kevin Robinson would be offended? Like, even a little bit?

Anyone can ride a bicycle, but only Kevin Robinson can do stuff with a bicycle that you thought humans weren't allowed to do on a bicycle.

Anyone can faceroll a ret pally to 4k dps; only the SupaFlyRetPally can pull 540 Double Flairs and make children believe in magic.

When somone walks up to you to specifically diss the ease of [Your Class/Spec] mechanics, what is the proper response?

A) Yes... and?

B) Yes. You know what else is easy? Using chopsticks. Even white people can eat california rolls with chopsticks... but, only the Shaolin Grand Master Chopstick Specialsts can catch mosquitoes in mid-flight with chopsticks. Think about it.

C) Yes, I already know. Why do you hurt me?

D) Bacon is delicious!

E) No! You are a liar! [My Class/Spec] is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating! You don't even understand!"

I didn't say anything mean to him, because I figured the guy's Emotional Quotient is so low that the concept of Conversation Rituals eludes him. He's like that poor baby monkey who was raised by humans, so he has no clue how to interact with other monkeys.

You can't just walk up to another monkey and start grooming hair. The Alpha Monkey will disapprove of such display of lack of social graces and fuck you up. You gotta follow the rituals, man: "Hey buddy, how are you? Mind if I pick on your back hair a little bit?"

Hands-on Approach

"Put 'em up where I can see 'em, at ALL times, thanks."


So my 5's comp has pretty much hit the same wall as the previous season, floating between 1700-1800. We're just too weak against ranged/Wizard Cleave setups and it's really popular this season.

If you're not familiar with those terms, allow me to explain---you know the random morons on the forums complaining about Destro Lock burst in BG's (the ones with 17k HP and think that LOS is a pronoun in Spanish)? They think that's burst damage. Ahaha, to be young and naive.

Throw in an Ele Shammy, maybe a Mage, and give 'em 10sec of Aura Mastery with a Priest spamming dispel to strip defensive buffs. Now that's burst to cry about.

Anyways, that wall sucks---because then I start yelling at my team for no reason, even when we win.

"Did you tie your shoelaces using the rabbit ears method?"
"Ok, here comes the queue---do your best guys! ^^ <3 xoxo"

My Ret teammate is trying out Prot/Ret and my Hunter teammate is going to try something new as well:



Speaking of feeling hands, did you know that Blizzard has no fuckingclue what they want to do with Lay on Hands?

Pretty soon, everything you do as a Pally will cause Forbearance. You log in, Forbearance. You eat a Mage strudel, Forbearance. You eat a Mage, Forbearance.

You read this blog, Forbearance (sorry.. I had to).

I brought this issue up to Jong to get the Ret perspective:

"Jong, this LOH change is a slap in teh vagina!"
"I just wanted to see if you'd say 'YAH I KNO!' which would imply you had one."
"RULE #3, RULE #3!!"
"^^ <3 xoxo"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I'm at Camp Narache

I'm going to participate in Big Bear's Raid for the Cure on 14th. I made a lvl 1 belf pally and parked it next to Grull Hakwind just like bear told me to. I've never been in such a ultra uber nerdy event like this, but it's for a good cause.

I had to be Jöng because some sap took my name. Someone bring your main so we can go pwn the hiena that killed me three times near Cross Roads.
DISCLAIMER: Whatever I'll be wearing on top of the standard belf-issued green leotard-looking armor solely represents my support for the cause and utmost confidence in my manhood.

I think whoever wrote that guild message of the day should consider exploring career opportunities in stand-up comedy.

I am Jong the Astral Walker. You know what that means, right? That means I walk on stars... and ... stuff.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Grateful Dead

"Now look here, you yourself said it's All Souls', and that is just what I expect to receive."


If you don't browse the AJ Forums or haven't read this thread yet, go do it now---you won't regret it.

As for my Pally Rafa, she's a simple reliable Honda Accord---gas is good, has no problem parking anywhere and sometimes when I'm feeling like a renegade, I prop up a stuffed Mashimaro plushie in the back window to guard my hanging drycleaning.

Braids, well, of course she'd be a sleek black Caddy Hearse, fully equipped.

The sideplates would have "INSERT YOUR NAME HERE" and it'd have one of those BABYONBOARD warning signs just to be, you know, tasteful.

Wouldn't it be fun to drive a hearse to work or the supermarket? I'd pick up my Goddaughter from school. I'd have a blast, frontin' with my windows rolled down and blasting Hot Issue from my 4Minute girls.


You know why I hate yuppies?

It's because most wouldn't be able to fully appreciate the Day of the Dead. If it wasn't created by Apple as an app, mixed by FourBucks coffee, or marketed by PotteryBarn, they won't get it---to them it doesn't matter much.

Remembering and celebrating the Dead means you pay attention to history, know about your family lineage and have a knowledge and respect of the past.

Not that bitter Nostalgia type of respect where you refuse to change and move forward. The type where you keep where you came from close---always present in shaping and guiding you to where you're headed.

A lot of people don't have that and it makes me sad. For WoW, a lot of people playing classes lack that awe and appreciation of what and who came before them---which means when something pops up on a patchnote that upsets them, they are unequipped to handle it and react in all types of absurd manners on forums/blogs/etc..

They have no deep history, they don't know where they came from---they shout and grind their teeth about mindless, shallow trends that will change and swap as whims tend to do, never realizing that there is something deeper and more eternally satisfying to be grounded in.

I'll sum it up with this:

At 0:30 you can see the yuppie run away. At 1:28 you can see the yuppie offer material things that do not matter.

Do not concern yourself with things that do not matter.