Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Grand Arbiter Rufino Fizzlebang

This warrior is my new main alt. I originally rolled this guy to instill fears in the hearts of the scrubs in battle grounds, but things aren't working out like I had planned. How come arms warriors are so scary when other people play, but not so much when I play it?

So, he's fury now. I've been running some raids, but I've lost rolls on every 2h weapon drops to dirty ret pallies who roll on warrior gears.
Did you guys see the blue note on Grand Arbiter Rufino Fizzlebang, the new gnome NPC coming in 3.3?

Grand Arbiter Rufino Fizzlebang is a level 80 NPC located at the mezzanine level of the Violet Citadel. As his title suggests, Rufino is an advanced AI arbiturartion mechanism we're implementing to improve the gaming experience of smart, metro-sexual, and sophisticated players.
You may report any act of stupidity observed in instance runs or trade chats to Rufino, who will assess the merits of your complaints and punish the reported stupid accordingly.

I logged on to PTR to check out the new NPC and test out the cross-server LFG. I found a group pretty quick and we were off to H UK.

When we were at the first boss, the mage in our group started explaining the fight.

"He's really easy. Just dps and remember that 4x7=27."

"Uhm, no, 4x7=28,"
I corrected him.

"/sigh... trust me, 4x7=27, k? I've done this hundreds of times. Let's pull."

"No, hold up. You're gonna wipe us. 4x7=28!"

"Dude, it's 27. Can we go?"

"Dude, I just refereced the Elitist Jerk's arithmetics thread and used the product function in Excel to verify that 4x7=28."

"You're an idiot."

"You're the idiot. I'm reporting you to the Grand Arbiter."

"Well, I'm counter-reporting you. You and me. To Rufino. Right Now."

After hearing our cases and engaging in a brief contemplation, Rufino presented his verdict... I was so giddy thinking about how badly this scrub was gonna get owned.

"You may go mage; your charges are cleared,"
the arbiter spoke. "Jong, I hate to inform you that your account will be suspended for three days on the grounds of your stupidity."

"WTF? Rufino, you got it mixed up. That guy is the idiot."

"No, I'm pretty sure you're the idiot. You're the biggest idiot I've seen all day."

"How so?"

"You're arguing with a guy who insists that 4x7=27."

My guild has strict mandates against getting into altercations in trade chat, pug runs, or forums. Irrespective of who's at fault, getting into pissing match with anyone is grounds for gkick.

Adhering to the policy has given me a piece of mind.

The other day, I ran toc daily on my warrior. The group consisted of four guildies + me. This one guy told me I was a fucking idiot for something I'm absolutely positive wasn't my fault.

"My bad I won't let it happen again." That's all I said, we moved on, and I got my quest item.

The way I see it, if you look at my guild tag and still say shit like that to me on THIS server, you obviously have no clue. There's no reason for me to argue that 4x7=28.


holybacon said...

Ugh. ToC seems to bring out the noob in everyone. Was tanking it on my warrior the other day, and a healer wearing mostly blues told me that *I* was undergeared because she couldn't keep me up when I was taking 5-6k hits. So I said "if you can find a tank you can keep up, I will be happy to give them my spot." After about 30 seconds she left the group, we got a new healer, and finished in about 15 minutes.

Bell said...

Getting into arguments is not half as fun as trash talking to your friends later. >.>

Arioch said...

4x7 is 42, duh.

We don't have any strict mandates about not being an ass, but the one guy we caught begging in trade decided shortly thereafter we were not a good fit for him.

If only more people realized that they are a representative at all times of their guild tag - and that MEANT something to them - the community would be a much nicer place.

River said...

But wait how much does 7x4=

Wait is 4x7 someones body part measurment. Should I start calling Jong the Tuna Can?


Sprink said...

Yes, but according to many schools of magical thought, the only way to be able to use magic is to realize that 2+2=5, and by extension 4x7=27. ^_^ Maybe the mage was just using his magely new math.