Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Best Kind of Night Clubs

Paladin Schmaladin has been souped-up. Ferraro just hired Hoff, an undisputed authority figure in ret pvp, and Trajer, a raider from Premonition.


Megan, just so you know, you have full admin rights to the site and you can do whatever you want. You can change the blog address to and title it PHOBEARANCE, and I wouldn’t care. And if one day, I find that I can’t log into my own site, I’ll be like, “Oh, I guess I’ve been kicked off”, and go right back to eating my ice cream.

The best kind of night clubs in Korea are the ones operated by organized crime groups.

/que Rough Riders' Anthem

It’s platinum night. Imma get decked out here-come-the-M-I-B style. My girl’s hair’s all kapow kapow let’s GO. She’s got panda bear eyeliners and belly button ring bling bling bip bop a shoop. I’m gonna be dropping $500, which means I expect to have a good time without stupid drunks getting in my way.

When drunks start acting silly because they think they can get away with it, they get ONE WARNING—Sir, may I help you? They better take the hint within 10 seconds, or they’ll be smothered by fifteen arms warriors coming out of the kitchen blade storming.

I don’t have to get involved with the scrubs at all. I just chill out and have a good time.

I love TEJ forums. When scrubs come there posting irrelevant, non-constructive conjectures, they get bashed right quick. I don’t have to sift through other people’s feelings, philosophies, hopes or dreams. I get hard-cold facts and I’m out. Thank you come again.

Megan says that posters on holy pally threads are nutty—“Stack int!” “NO stack spell power!” “NO Your mom’s a whore!”

I find the ret pally posters to be very respectful. Not so friendly, but respectful. They never argue for the sake of argument and have no problem admitting their own mistakes. In ways, the forum is more civilized than any other wow forum:

“Oh, thank you for catching that mistake. I did not consider the second derivative of haste when expanding the denominator of the equation per Ito’s Lemma. Could you pass me Grey Poupon?”

I am a min-maxer. I have no qualms about destroying 3 epic gems to squeeze out 2 attack power. I dropped eng/mining to pick up jc/bs coming into WotLK. If Janitor/Para Legal turns out to be the professions in vogue in Cataclysm, guess what I’ll be doing?

Megan is not a min-maxer. She has to match every socket color. She says ignoring socket color feels like playing Connect Four with the Scrabble letter blocks. She also runs around with a relentless POLEARM even though she’s a human. I would love to make fun of her: UR a hugeee nub. Humans are supposed to use sword or mace, k?.... but I can’t.

What if she replies, “Oh, okay. Can you show me how you enchanted your relentless weap… oh I’m sorry, YOU DON’T HAVE IT.”

Thanks to the troll who ruined my night club scene with a bucket of cold water in the form of Bill Cosby, I'd like to rephrase panda bear eyeliners to raccoon eyeliners. Just to be clear, this is what I mean:

Has anub gotten your raid down? Don't you drag your shoulders in there. Get your chin up and tell him you go by the name of CL of 2NE1 and you're about to set the FUCKING ROOF ON FIRE. EH EH EH EH EH EH EH-O.


Antigen said...

"She’s got panda bear eyeliners and belly button ring bling bling bip bop a shoop."

I didn't know Bill Cosby was part of your night club fantasy. Although he'd be an excellent wingman.

Arioch said...

I'm a min-maxer to a degree.
I don't think on my mage I'll ever change my professions, I've spent so much time collecting all the patterns that it would feel like a huge loss.
Newer characters, I pick up professions with the thought that I will probably change them further down the line.

Going out later. Might need to try some panda bear eyeliners.

Shamrockgirl said...

i have been contemplating dropping mining on my main raider for another profession... just have to figure out what.

Anub is a pain in the arse on 25 heroic... we got him to 6% and wiped. 6... effing... percent!!!! makes me a sad panda.

gnomeaggedon said...

Thanks for the heads up on an-TEE-jen's blog... Some nice reading there.

I'm a minmaxer...

I minimize my height to maximize my other natural features... There are only so many itemization points out there, why waste them on height when the pandas are impressed by others stats?

River said...

I got to start hanging out with you. LOL!

Syrana said...

Now I totally want to try playing Connect Four with Scrabble blocks...