Monday, December 14, 2009

auto deny

I need to make a run to the grocery. If you opened my refrigerator door right now, you’ll feel Zen-like tranquility that can only be obtained from the complete lack of materials.

Tiger Woods’ wife is a Norwegian super-model. He’s got perfectly dry-aged grass-fed fillet Mignon sizzling at home, but he’s like “yo quiero taco bell”, and goes to taco bell.

What’s he gonna say to his daughter when she grows up?

“Hey kiddo, I know the voice message I left on the cocktail waitress’ cell phone is floating on youtube as a slow-jam remix, but have I told you I used to have endorsements from Accenture, Buick, and Nike?”

More importantly, what is he going to say to me? I used to wear matching TW hat & windbreaker every where I went and told people to call me Tiger Jong. Well, I don’t wanna be called Tiger Jong anymore. What do you think of that?

I’m running into all kinds of characters with this new pug system. I’m sad that I didn’t screen shot the 1100 dps warlock spamming recount in party chat to rebuke the 800 dps dk. Oh, and the spriest: Oh man, my spell power is the same as the year I was born. 1994!

This guy didn’t do anything to me. He’s ignored in my book by the sheer virtue of spazzing out in front of the character creation screen: busta-n-u-t-z [enter]. He rolled a toon named bustanut, leveled it to 80, and made efforts to gear it out. I feel pretty comfortable auto denying him if he ever applied to my guild.

You know who else deserves auto-deny? Dudes who play male belf dks. Girls may choose whatever race/gender combo solely based on looks, because that’s one of the perks of being a girl.

Orc pets do extra damage. Orcs have axe specialization and every sought-after 2h weapons have been axe since the inception of the hero class. This means these dudes rolled a male belf dk because:

1) They like the way male belf looks; they wanna be associated with Fabioso the Fabulous.

2) They spazzed out in front of the character creation screen.


3) They’re nubs.

All of the above are grounds for auto-deny. If you feel inspired to stand up and stomp me by listing the belf racials (e.g., voluminous hair), sit down. That’s like listing the sheek, metro-sexual functionalities of a man purse so you can rock a man purse.


*Elin is Sweedish, not Norwegian (I wrote this here without looking up anything. I trust Larisa's suspicion more than internet facts.)

*Orcs are so good I wish I could be orc paladin.

*Rhidach has earned the right to winwax. He probably rolled a belf dk for the same reason I wear pink shirts: as a display of utmost confidence in my manhood. I didn't add this to #4 because I didn't want all the scrubs jumping on this bandwagon.

*I think so-called "male" belf is hilarious.


Rhidach said...

Hey, you leave my... er... belf dk out of this. He's not my main, I think I earned the right to winwax a little. Yeah.

For the Pie said...

I "had" a Belf Paladin. I say had, because that pally is now a space goat, waiting for the day to go back to be a real cow.

I rolled this pally as a male, because I am a dude in real life. Until I started playing said "guy" belf.

It was then determined there is no male version of the Belf race. There is the girl version, and the husky girl version. I gender changed to a girl, and yes, i tanked some heroics in a dress, because I can. And let's be honest, she rocked the little black dress. (okay I did it because I could stay above the def min cap and needed to take more damage to not put my healer to sleep or worse, have him out dps..dps, and I needed mana.)

Arioch said...

I get a perk!

Antigen said...

Dude, everyone knows that the gold discount of Vidal Sassoon is the clincher; that's why I rolled a belf pally to begin with. That and Mana Tap.

I quickly discovered that so-called "male" belfs don't have enough hair to condition and moisturize, so I rolled female belf.

Then rolled female human.

Then I'll probably roll "male" belf again, complete the circle.

RIver said...

Sad that the Male Belf looks more feminine then the Female Human.

Bustanutz...he's on a RP server right?

Hatch said...

So right about BE DKs. I'm also going to be giggling over "Bustanutz is now being ignored" all day.

Larísa said...

Just a small detail, but I always thought Elin is Swedish.

gnomeaggedon said...

If the Male Belf Dk is named IlikeNutz or IamNutz then it's ok... If not... Why didn't they roll a comb-over Gnome?

Leah said...

but DK is an orc becasue I'm absolutely in love with female orc looks and animations. the choice of race was all for vanity! the Axe thing and the extra attack power trinket is just a nice bonus >_>

I'm being totaly serious btw and the reason I'm so in love with girl orcs is

Becky said...

This guy didn’t do anything to me. He’s ignored in my book by the sheer virtue of spazzing out in front of the character creation screen: busta-n-u-t-z [enter]. He rolled a toon named bustanut, leveled it to 80, and made efforts to gear it out.

I have ignored people for this very same reason. I also consider ignoring any person currently sporting the “Jenkins” title.

Actually the funniest naming I have ever seen in WOW is a guild on my server. They call themselves “Twink Nation.”

A friend of mine that I work with (who is gay) had recently started playing WOW around the time that “Twink Nation” was spamming trade chat with this message:

2./“*****TWINK NATION***** now recruiting all twinks 16-19. PST for inspection.”

It still makes me giggle to think about him seeing that.

Anea said...

I bet he's good friends with Treefiddy.

(I want to say that "at least" it's a tree druid, but somehow that doesn't make it better.)

Arioch said...

@ Becky
Awwww... when my title swapping add worked, Jenkins would pop up from time to time. You wouldn't really ignore me for that, would you?

Now I'm just sporting "of the Nightfall" since all the title swapping adds seem to be broken with 3.3. /sad

The Renaissance Man said...

I once saw King Magni punt a Belf into the Great Forge during a horde raid. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but all the weapons made that week were fabulous.

Darraxus said...

Shit man, you get plus 20 hair extensions and start with skinny jeans. Why wouldnt you want a Belf.

Becky said...


No, I wouldn't ignore you :) Also, boo to addons not working.

Bell said...

I don't ignore them. I report them for spam. When possible.

I like to keep my ignore list clear for complete jerk-offs.