Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Apples and Apples

"The core, is always the same."


How come everytime I log into Gnomeaggedon's server, he's never on to throw me a ginvite. What the hell is his problem---is he like, from fucking Australia or something?

Maybe it's because I haven't quite figured out the time difference in servers. Plus I can't find Australia on the map.

I press M, but it's totally not in Northrend or Eastern Kingdoms. Might be Outlands. I haven't checked Kalimdor either---no really, I HAVNT CHEKKED KALIMDOOR.

Because I can't. On most of my toons, what has been "cleared and revealed" on Kalimdor maps is:

1) Darnassus
2) Theramore
3) Gadgetzan
4) Orgrimmar (cause I'm the fucking Hero of)

The rest is uncharted blobs of default maptexture. Sometimes I get bored when I'm flying from Darnassus to Gadgetzan so I use the blank space to play Sudoku.

Australia could be any one of those. I'm a busy person---you can't expect me to waste time looking for a city (it's a city, rite?) that might not even be there.

Anyway, back to Gnome---everyone else is already having fun, why can't I?

I was in a Isle of Conquest on my Rogue the other night. While about 14 people spammed "GO DOCKS" (and 10 of those people went to Hangar), I went Workshop.

I always go Workshop actually, but this time I HAD to go Workshop. Because someone else was going to Workshop and I had to get a pic:


Speaking about my Rogue, she's tons of fun so far. It's been 5 days since she hit LVL80.

There's still a few items I'd like her to have before Season 8 is officially released. No worries, Santa's coming soon and I'm sure he'll say something like, "HOHOHO, I-see-see that she's been very nice this year."


Jong says that he's a MinMaxer and I'm not. So true, I'm a WinWaxer (just flip the M's upsidedown).

A WinWaxer is sort of like a MinMaxer---they both have the same goal (to win) but arrive differently. Sorta like PVE and PVP I guess.

You can plug in all the numbers you want into a spreadsheet, but it will never tell you how good you are at 5-8 kiting, or even when 5-8 kiting will win it for you. If you adhere to FCFS in PVE, props to you. If you adhere to FCFS in PVP, that generally means:

1) Flag Carrier, First Served
2) Forget Cleanse, Forget Skill

So when Jong shows me cool Ret Pally threads on how it should be Relentless Meta so I can socket 1x Prismatic and avoid all Blue sockets, I don't feel bad or guilty I'm not MinMaxed.

I quietly slip a Sovereign Dreadstone into my SoCleavage and giggle like Snottydin would. I can cap a flag, cap a node, drive a vehicle, win an Arena match with 1 HP left---but I can't do any of those with 0 HP.

Of course, I'm not saying MinMaxed is inferior to WinWaxed or viceversa. And it's not even the cliche Apples/Oranges thing either---it's Apples and, you guessed it, motherfucking Apples.

When I give my Goddaughter an Apple, I slice it up for her and put it on a plate so she can learn to be ladylike, chew better for easier digestion, share pieces with her friends, and growup to win.

When I eat an Apple, I sink my teeth straight into it and lockitdown---I can walk around with my hands free, getting ready for work, doing up my hair, putting on mascara, or the millions of other things I do to win.


If you liked the vid that Jong posted of 2NE1 in his last post, and you liked the vid of 4MINUTE that I posted way back (I know Flairioch did at least to relive her Junior High School days), then enjoy this deadly combination while you patch up 3.3 all day:

It's almost like combining the power of a MinMaxer and a WinWaxer, all on the same blog.. someone should definitely look into that sort of thing---it's so good, I wonder why it's not already done. I propose.. Gevlon and the Pope.

Both make absurd amounts of money, and both I would like to see drive around in that funnylittle gocart.


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Grimmtooth said...

"I-see-see that she's been very nice this year."

Oh, ha ha. I c wut u did thar.

For the Pie said...


Gnomer is 1 hour behind server time, FYI.

River said...

Hmm maybe it's time to stop by and visit the gnomer.

Love the videos! Then I had a thing for asian girls ever since Shonen Knife spit water on me...Shonen Knife was an Asian girl rock band touring with a Band called Mr.Bungle at the time...long story...don't ask.

But if you know who Mr. Bungle is...you earn points in my book.

gnomeaggedon said...

Speak to my deputies...

I don't muddy my hands with that invite process... You know you start as a Trogg in Armaggedon's Coming.

My deputies have made it to the glorious rank of Gnome and are more than capable of slinging invites around like popcorn at the movies... Just track down Krizzlybear, Forthepie, Syranageddon or Mattycus (Fatticus as you know him) and tell them you are my No.1 fan.

I'll dig up a map of Terra Australis in Azeroth for you, I dare say you are making the same mistake that most Northerners make an looking at the bottom of the map... Everybody knows Australia is on top (we always go on top... Can't beat missionary position there are millions in the world to prove that).

Anyway, sweet dreams... I'm of to WinMax at work

gnomeaggedon said...

Ohhh. I hope Farmaggedon can hold the farm in AB, otherwise that would be so embarrassment!

Arioch said...

I suddenly want an apple.

gnomeaggedon said...

I see your hot videos (with people poking themselves in the eye) and raise it with 3 of my own, that will leave you poking yourself in the eye...

magicstrudel said...

I'm not at all a min-maxer. I guess I'm a win-waxer. Cool.

My "min-maxing" amounts to "oh, I want more haste today" "oh, now I want more crit"

Other than that, I don't even use epic gems. I use rare gems if I have the cuts, uncommon gems if I don't =P

I bet I make Jong cry.

Rilandune said...

Australia is indeed in Kalimdor, it's a city just south of Nijel's Point, hard to find of course because, well, it's Desolace and it's rather barren. :P


PS. If everyone is yelling GO DOCKS it is your sworn duty as a Rogue to go somewhere else!