Wednesday, November 4, 2009

[Your Spec/Class] is Faceroll

I was hanging out in dal bank minding my own business and looking at the floor tile patterns.

This warlock named KanyePest runs up to me and whispers, "lolret is so easy to play. it's sooooo easy. lol"

/crickets chirping

... so, then we're staring at each other in awkward silence, because I have no idea how to respond to his remarks. He doesn't know what else to say either.

I was speechless, not because I was offended in any way, but because I really didn't know what I was supposed to say. If I just knew where he was going with this, we could have held a perfectly normal, healthy conversation.

Maybe he wanted to play Let's Blurt Out Random Obivious Statements and he envisioned a conversation like this:

"Lolret is easy!"

"Uhm...bacon is delicious!"

"Megan Fox is hot!"

"Errrrm...puppies are cute!"

"Uh... uh... damn, you win."




In which case, I feel really bad, because I totally messed up.

Maybe he was trying to illicit a nerdrage-imbued statement of defense so he can laugh at me:

/lip quivers

"No! You are a liar! Retribution Paladin is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating class! You don't even understand!"

In that case, he just picked a wrong ret pally. He should have spoke to the guy named Frog on this forum. Because, I didn't feel inferior or insecure or anything.

For the sake of discussion, let's assume that playing ret is like riding a bicycle and playing warlock is like piloting Boeing 757 with flashing dashboards all over the place.

If a random pilot walked up to Kevin Robinson, the BMX Mega Ramp World Record Holder, and said, "Riding bicycle is soooo easy. My 6-yr-old niece can ride it too. lol", do you think Kevin Robinson would be offended? Like, even a little bit?

Anyone can ride a bicycle, but only Kevin Robinson can do stuff with a bicycle that you thought humans weren't allowed to do on a bicycle.

Anyone can faceroll a ret pally to 4k dps; only the SupaFlyRetPally can pull 540 Double Flairs and make children believe in magic.

When somone walks up to you to specifically diss the ease of [Your Class/Spec] mechanics, what is the proper response?

A) Yes... and?

B) Yes. You know what else is easy? Using chopsticks. Even white people can eat california rolls with chopsticks... but, only the Shaolin Grand Master Chopstick Specialsts can catch mosquitoes in mid-flight with chopsticks. Think about it.

C) Yes, I already know. Why do you hurt me?

D) Bacon is delicious!

E) No! You are a liar! [My Class/Spec] is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating! You don't even understand!"

I didn't say anything mean to him, because I figured the guy's Emotional Quotient is so low that the concept of Conversation Rituals eludes him. He's like that poor baby monkey who was raised by humans, so he has no clue how to interact with other monkeys.

You can't just walk up to another monkey and start grooming hair. The Alpha Monkey will disapprove of such display of lack of social graces and fuck you up. You gotta follow the rituals, man: "Hey buddy, how are you? Mind if I pick on your back hair a little bit?"


Tittertot said...

Proper respons would be:
"Lollock is so eeeeeasy to play, lol"
lollock would probably say:
"NO WAI, I press like 4 buttons"
Then you can counter with:
"I press up to 5 buttons"

Then you win.

or just do what you did.

gnomeaggedon said...

Proper Response:

"Can I haz 1 gold plz"

Grimmtooth said...

Previously, I've ignored them.

But as of today, "bacon is delicious!"

Once again, you have inspired! Well done! I shall achieve adequacy some day!

The Rokk said...

Without sounding like some kind of sociopath, people frustrate me to the point where they're not even worth skinning to make clothing out of.

Far too many of these mouth-breathers think their class is oh so difficult to play, thereby allowing them to feel like unique little snowflakes. What they seem unable to grasp is that there's a difference in playing a class and playing it to capacity.

I'm also joining the "bacon is delicious" camp, because that's just telling it like it is.

Grimmtooth said...

@Rokk - if nothing else, the skins sell well during the holidays, so save them up for Father Winter.

@Gnome - now I've a conundrum, for truly that is an epic response. What to do ...

I know. Yours for when I'm annoyed at them, and Jong's for those times such as just after a pedicure, when I'm feeling especially fresh and jaunty!

Grimmtooth said...

This bothers, me, though. I've never gotten one of those. On Alleria, a packed server, of all places.

C'mon, Alleria! I'm running around with a BM hunter, Demon Warlock, and Frost mage! If I get rid of any more button bars the game won't WORK!

Rhidach said...

I recommend the /bitchslap emote.

Fricassee said...

The correct response is "NO WAI,OMG THERE'S FIRE! IT'S HARD TO GET OUT."

That's true for every class except us mages. We have a "standing in fire button" with blink. I endeavor to unbind all movement from the keyboard and mouse, and do TOC with nothing but blink.

Arioch said...

"Bacon is delicious" fits so many situations. Think I'm going to macro it.

River said...

Bacon is delicious...if it's cooked right.

Meaning yes (Insert class) may be easy, but can you do it with such excellence that people respect the way you play.

"Bacon is delicious" is the new " I love pie" statement..I demand tshirts.

Kinzlayer said...

My new battle cry...

/cast Charge

Shamrockgirl said...

mmmmm.... bacon!

Firespirit said...

I love when people do this. I just do.

I invite them to a heroic and we will run all the way to the first boss. When they realize that they cant match my style, nor my dps, I down the first boss and leave their ass.

Bell said...

But I don't like bacon :{

Grimmtooth said...


Then you will have to eat ... PIE!

Darksaturn7 said...

I love being called face roll...then when ppl ask what I actually do to produce my numbers it all 'that's soo hard...too much theory crafting...*brain explosion*' People don't ask anymore :)

Miss Medicina said...

I regret to inform you that I do not find Bacon in any way delicious. Therefore, I am offended.


Phlakvest said...

I usually respond to comments like that by mounting up on my bear mount and yelling. "Scuba Bear CHARGE!!!"
then ride away.

If Im in an area where I can fly. I jump into the air, flightform, and yell "To infinity and beyond!"

Both of which typically difuse the situation.

Grumpy Misanthrope said...

When referring to bacon, the only proper statement is:

Bacon is meat candy.


CAN I haZ 1 GOld PLZ?

Pike said...

Wait, no "your MOM is faceroll"??

Kaethir said...

Nobody ever tells me druids are easy to play... except the people in my guild that hear me talk about how much druids cheat.

I suppose the priest the other day that complained about healing druid tanks because he didn't have to do anything counts... sort of... but I was just like "I know, right?" and we had fun with it while tearing through heroic VH.

If anybody really did complain, I'd just tell them that "yup, druids cheat, get over it" and move on.

We actually had a discussion in guild one day where folks were all arguing that their own class was easier to play. "I only have to use 3 buttons!" "Well I only use 2!"

"I'm a druid! I may have to use more buttons but I cheat hardcore!"

Paul said...

Awesome post. I find it is best to ignore people like that, but the funny thing is: Every class in wow is faceroll easy. Every single class.

Dps'ing on a paladin, warlock, hunter, or feral druid doesn't require you to spend a second outside of the game researching your class or spending an hour at the target dummy trying to practice your rotation so that you can commit it to muscle memory and do it blindfolded, in your sleep, while still paying enough attention to get out of a fire.

You can do okay DPS that way. Acceptable DPS for many runs. Lots of folks do it all the time.

GREAT dps on the other hand...requires work. It requires practice. It requires research. This is something you have to do regardless of of the class you are playing.

Now, a warlock may have to work harder to go from good to great. That could be something that is debatable. Their rotation could be so complicated that it requires 2-3 hours of practice at the training dummy to nail down, versus an hour for a Ret Pally. I could see that.

My point is that there are people who are good dps, and people who are great DPS. In my experience, when people who are great DPS play on their alts...they are still pretty great. No matter what class they play, they tend to come out pretty high on the meters.

Warrior Guide said...

LOL the bicycle-airplane analogy is just hilarious xD

People that think playing your class was easy are probably the guys who - if they ever actually try to play that class - end up at the very bottom of every damage/heal-meter. And still brag about how "easy the class was to master".

Back in the old days when I was playing resto druid, there were druids in our guild who really thought it was all easy as riding the bicycle... that's why they never managed to get more than 50% of my healing done ;)

Anonymous said...

Nice and thanks!