Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Traffic Lights

When you were a kid, did you run around the house with a cape, pretending it's Varian's Furor? Instead of a cape, I ran around with an arm sleeve made of 100% wool even in 95 degree August summer heat. Lincoln Hawk was my hero====================

Do you like traffic lights?

I was in Strand of the Ancients near one of the docks. I got into a 1-on-1 show-down against a Resto Druid.

The tree had been kiting me up and down the coastal line for what seemed like 20 minutes. At first, he was nervously spamming big heals on himself. After he realized I couldn't do anything to him, he started casually smelling the breeze and picking up sea shells. He picked up the branch I broke off his arm and wrote KEVIN LUVS SALLY on the sand... and watched the waves wash it away. I think he was using me like a training dummy that attacks so he could test his HPS.

At that point, I don't care about the BG anymore. If everyone busted through the chamber and pissed all over the sacred relic, I wouldn't care. I wanted the druid.

Just when I was about to plop down and cry, this beautiful creature... a night elf rogue... jumped out of the shadows like a ninja and stunlocked the shit out of the tree. Go ninja. It's your birthday. Go ninja. It's your birthday. I HOUSED the tree in no time with the rogue's help.

"Le's go," said the heroic rogue just before disappearing into the night.

I hate traffic lights when they're red, but I love them when they're green.

I hate rogues when they're on the other team, but I love them when they're on my team.

Everyone who participated in the Circle of Healings survey, look what Spinksville had to say about your tedious, facepalm-inducing jeeberish:

Also, I’ve seen a lot of rather tedious tank and healer questionnaires going around? Who the hell cares what your favourite spell is? *facepalm* It’s the whole package you should be looking at and how they fit together.

I had to read that several times, because I wasn't sure whether Spinks is really that condescending or just doing a hilarious impression of Gevlon doing an impression of Dakota Fanning.

Don't listen to Spinks guys. You know who cares about your favorite spell? I care. Yes I do.

In fact, let me tell you about my favorite spell, Avenging Wrath (wings).

I'm sure many hunters can relate to the sweet nostalgia of the glorious TBC days when 41/20/0 Beast Masters used to rule the world with 3:2 steady shot macro and Bestial Wrath.

I think popping BW and watching the Big Red Kitty flip out is one of the most exhilirating and empowering experience in all of wow.
I like Avenging Wrath, because it grants me as almost as much authority as Bestial Wrath. AW is not as cool as BW though:

1) AW comes with less horse power.

2) AW doesn't grant me immunity to fears, stuns, snares, and getting man-handled pwnt in really embarrasing ways.
I wish I screen shotted that fuckin mage who spell stole my wings, but I couldn't because I was too busy running and typing /bg halp stable halp.

EDIT: I see a lot of bloggers coming down with sickness. Take good care of yourself and your loved ones.

Gnomer and out! Squidly and stout!


Almaster said...

''Gnomer and out! Squidly and stout!''

Gnomegaddon made this post? :)

talking about BM hunters, i have a lvl 71 hunter that i've been working on when not raiding on both my paladin and my DK, and last night i was doing a quest minding my own things, when out of no where a lvl 69 paladin came and wtf pwned me, i didnt know what happened till i saw a blood elf paladin /lol ing at me after i was dead.
i sure rage hit my keyboard and broke it, the sound of that blood elf just made me want to break something, i grabbed my bottle of vodka near me and ran back to my corpse.

as soon i as rezed, the paladin was flying above me waiting for it, i called my pet, with less than half of hp for both of us, i used bestal wrath and stuned the poor paladin till he was dead.
and i made the victory dance IRL.

i campped him just because he is a blood elf.

why i wrote all of this? i don't know, maybe the rage wasn't all released from last night.

gnomeaggedon said...

OMG My G&O,S&S has been spellstolen by a wing wearing Pally!

Bet them wings went well with your old hairstyle...

A dwarf with wings... silly, you will never get off the ground... who ever heard of a flying rock?

I'm so happy that even my DPS hero runs in shame at the sight of a Tree... I am beginning to think they are our greatest weapon in PvP.

Forget sending tanks in, just send in the Trees to demoralize the enemy..

"You can't kill me.. Naa Naaany Naa Naah!"

PS: G&O,S&S couldn't be stolen by a better blogger... well maybe it could, but:
1) are there any?
2) if we find them we will burst them down together... unless they are Trees

Fricassee said...

I love it when Jong freaks out on people being jackholes. Hate directed at haters can only be described as Triumphant.

I'm making this macro for Saturday

/tar Jong
/w Jong Can I haz 1g pl0x?

Bell said...

Speaking as a Resto Druid: You should have died, that Druid was just lazy. ;P

Speaking as a BM hunter: Heck yeah, Bestial Wrath is the awesome. Makes my devilsaur, Cinnamon, COVER THE SCREEN IN BLOOD RED DEATH.

Speaking as a Paladin: Someday, when I get to ret again, I'll love my wings as something more than just a recovery aid that keeps my heals up while my mana is regenning. :{

Arioch said...

But how are you on yellow lights?

Jong casts Bestial Wrath in real life.

Kinzlayer said...

<3 this story... made me smile even on this crummy day.

Firespirit said...

Your experience with this resto druid ESACTLY mirrors an experience I had with my guild druid with a duel. He ended up winning out of pure mana exhaustion on my part after about a 7 minute battle.

Darraxus said...

Over the top reference is full of win.

Leah said...


my husband plays a pvp tree. he lost a duel to a warrior once, but that warrior is one of the best pvpers I know and by the time he finally brought my hub down, he himself was at about 15% (or was it 10?)

Bell is right, that druid was lazy :P