Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Know I Used to be a Warlock



"I was scared for a moment, but then realized I could just faceroll twice as good."

--

This is largely a throwaway post, I'm crunched for time. But it's an excuse to link my armories 'cause some of Jong's readership might not be familiar with my past.

You know I used to be a Warlock?

Braids unfortunately was relegated to alt status when WOTLK hit (even though she hit LVL80 first), but she has and always will be my favorite. I do casual Arena/PVP on the side when I find the time (hit 1800+ for S6) and the only PVE I can muster on her is selling Steamy Romance Novels on the AH---because taking money from perverts is always HEROIC and doesn't require a gearscore.

--

You know I used to be the fucking Hero of Orgrimmar?



It doesn't matter if Rafa is Alliance and Org is Horde. Org loves her like Anub loves fat kids eating cake who run slow during the burrowphase.

It's just how like Jong, even though he's Alliance and Human now, will still be sleeping with Blood Elf chicks from all over 'til he dies (of some disease). It's not Ret BE DPS, it's Ret BED PST.

Rafa is so loved as Org's hero, whenever she goes in there through the front gates she's swarmed by her fans---they won't leave her alone. It's an exhausting thing really being starinthespotlight, can't go anywhere without being followed. When she went in there during the Midsummer Festival to give her Hero's blessing on the city fire, she had to break off to the Auction House to try and buy Health pots---there was a misunderstanding and a slight scuffle with the auctioneers that made the tabloids.

I don't recall what spec/gear I logged her out with, but she's largely a Holy Pally Healing Bot these days..

--

Volvo Driving Soccer Mom by Everclear (embedding disabled by request)

//[na na, na na, na na, na na]

//you know I used to be a Warlock
//I got busy in the Basin and I Soulshard farm
//ya I used to summon Night Elves at the local Succ Club
//but now I know, my Light wings from my wrong

//ya ya
//I really used to be a Ret girl
//I had a 3's team with sir Uther and his Prot friend Tom
//I know I used to be a real Loot Whore
//but now I am, a Holy Pally Healing Bot

//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na]

//I really used to be a Warlock
//I got busted through possession of my Healthstone laced stash
//I used to love to Fear the things they tell me not to Fear
//but now I'm different, now I spam a Light Flash

//I really used to be a Ret girl
//I got fucked in Arena if SO-COM didn't proc
//yes I used to be a real Loot Whore
//but now I am, a Holy Pally Healing Bot

//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot

//woa woa, woa woa
//[where do all] where do all the Rerolls go
//when the Patch goes down [goes down]
//[I wonder where] I wonder where all the Facerolls go
//cause when ya have 'em they are nerfed to the ground

//I think they moved out to the Abbey
//and now they're Grid bound, middle class, Blizzpublican whines
//they all have Grid bound, middle class, Blizzpublican keybinds
//Grid bound, middle class, Blizzpublican lives

//where do all the Rerolls go
//when the Patch goes down [goes down]
//I think I know where all the Facerolls go
//now become, Holy Pally Healing Bot

//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot

//[na na, na na, na na, na na]
//[na na, na na, na na, na na] Holy Pally Healing Bot

4 comments:

Fricassee said...

Excellent song choice!

Vulpina said...

I would faction transfer all of my Alliance toons to Horde just to sleep with human Jong as a BElf.

Does cross-faction ERP flag you for PvP?

River said...

I think we all know Warlocks are just Mages who couldn't hack it, and took the easy route.

Arioch said...

I would agree with River, but Megs might eat my soul.