Saturday, August 29, 2009

Ambiguous Acronyms FTW

I have a teenage sister. Once she gets on the phone, it's minimum 2 hours of pointless yelping. The other day I saw her answer the phone and hang up within 30 minutes.

"Holy jeebus Lauren, why did you get off so fast?"

"Huh? Oh, it was wrong number."

I was fishing dragon fins. Lauren got all up in my face. My fish got away, which means it was a beat-down time. I put up seal of the pimp and judged a backhand slap across her face. Unfortunately, she parried my attack, gained a temporary haste boost, and landed two hateful strikes on my neck. It hurt.

I remember this one time in high school. I ran home and insisted that I really need Air Jordan III's right now.

"but MOMMMMM, I have shin splints and the school nurse said I need Air Jordan's to relieve this unbearable pain!" /grabs thighs in agony OUCH OUCH

"You don't know where your shins are do you? Your sneakers are fine."

"but MOMMMM, these don't have perforated toes for breathability and rubber outsole for traction! What if a car comes at me and I can't pivot and tumble fast enough because I have no traction? Do you want me to get run over by a car?"

Next week, I ran home again demanding that we go try general hardmode RIGHT NOW.

"MOMMMM I really need me Voldreathar. This blue glow hurts my eyes and hinders my ability to solve differtial equations. Do you want me to get a B in Calculus? I need soothing orange glow."

My mom used to buy me everything I want, so now I get her whatever she wants. I got her a $1800 prada handbag for her birthday. If she wants another one for Christmas, then she's getting another one. I will NOT ler her get outdpsed by her friends.

BRK drinks raspberry latte. You know what that means, right? Yep, I'm gonna start drinking raspberry latte too, because that's what champions drink. Drinking raspberry latte does not mean you don't have balls; it just means you're really secure about your manhood.

I went to startbucks and ordered venti raspberry latte. The cashier wrote RZ L on the plastic cup and passed it on to the barrista.

He made me a venti Raspberry Lemonade. Uh, wrong answer, please try again, I told him.

The barrista barked something at the cashier--it's LT for Latte, Jamie!-- and made me a latte.

So, now I have lemonade and latte. I win.


Bell said...

Share pl0x?

Shamrockgirl said...

grats on the extra drop from the barrista!

gnomeaggedon said...

"Wrong number" lol...

I'm hoping Lauren doesn't PvP... sounds like she would be slaughtering the opposition with her hateful strikes, and wiping out her side with a carefully directed dose of epeening..


Good that you love you Mum... Me thinks there may be a touch of the Irish in you... somewhere...

Sounds like you oneshot Starbucks and grabbed the needy and greedy achievements...

Still, I will share the lemo with you...

thedoctor said...



Antigen said...

We downed General on 25 last night and, after the boss was already dead, the healers were like 'huh, we could've done that on hard mode.'

Upset ret paladin with a PvP mace is upset.

Firespirit said...

LOL, you wont let your mom get out DPS'ed.

I nearly spit my carmel macciatto over my screen :)

I have a new excuse to buy cheap gifts for my hated enemies - sorry, you just dont have the performance to demand that ironsoul for your
"supah leet deepz fo shizzle." Instead, you are going to get some asian made crap from the 99 cent store around the corner. I need to feed the hungry over in china. They farm gold so that my only true competitors on Alliance side Muradin can buy their gear.*

*Disclaimer, I do not actually support goldfarming, or gold buying, and I am not claiming that my competition does on Muradin. But damm. I have my suspicions.

River said...

I'm pretty sure, If you drink Raspberry Latte I think it does make you less of a man. It's because of the hormones in the creme.