Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm just misunderstood

I was reading the Ice Crown Tribune.

Apparently, the Young Republican Scourge Minions voted me The Most Hated Ret Pally again—that’s three seasons in a row. Give me a break. There are dozens of silly ret pallies running all over the place. Why me?

I'm a compassionate, kind soul. I don’t just go mowing them scourges down in blind fury. I always try to talk to them first. I approach them with loving eyes and the carebear libram held close to my chest, but they all talk like Galertruby and won’t listen to me.

Hello brother goul. I’m Crusader Jong.

Gahhl galha Garrrahhalagh!

Wait! I’m just here to share the good news. Have you heard the good news?

Aglhha gahllragl gllah aghhrla!

Jesus loves you.


Then he gets all up in my face and messes up my hair. I swear, if he knew how much I pay for haircuts, he would never try that shit. When you mess with Vidal Sassoon's proudest moment that is my hair, you’re messing with my emotions. What choice do I have but to bust your head open and then proceed to decimate the entire field of anything that can't enunciate its words?

I'm not a bully. I'm just misunderstood.


thedoctor said...

After I read your article. This song's hook was stuck in my head for the last two hours.

Your posts changes people lives Jong! Keep up with the crazy shit.

Antigen said...

Damn, I was runner-up AGAIN? McCain said he'd put a word into the YRSM for... Wait, he lost the election, didn't he?

I should stop killing so many Scourge and start killing more politicians, maybe I'd be more in the loop.

Arioch said...

It's a hard lot in life, being misunderstood.
But when the hair gets messed up, a man's got to do what a man's got to do.

Anonymous said...

Jong and Meg both posting again? I may stay awake at work!

Rivs said...

Fricking pretty boys, always getting the chicks and awards. Us Forsaken just don't have the proper name brands designers, are stuff is all torn, and not pimp enough. Having your spine show even through the cloak....not cool at all.

Darksaturn7 said...

Hey, I feel the same way about my Troll feet. I'll play nice, but Gods help you if you touch the feet! Puts me in a people soup kinda mood...then again undead makes for shitty soup. I can say that with certainty.