Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Skill? What skill?

I can chump down a cheeseburger like it's nobody's business. I'm the Allen Iverson of cheeseburgers. Still, I don't go around flaunting my mad cheeseburger eating skillz. It's not because I'm humble and modest; it's because there's no skill to be discussed. You just take it and eat it.

Skill is an equally unfitting term for anything in PvE. What skill? The skill to take three steps to the side when the bright huge-ass fissure spawns at the exact time it said it was going to spawn? Oooooh, that's crazy leet. I bet your cheeseburger eating skillz are legit too.

With respect to PvE, I don't like the term skill because it implies that something special is required to be a good raider.

I'm certainly not trying to enlighten anyone here with the things you already knew, but I think by skill, we really mean these things...

Willingness to Fail until the Task is Committed to Our Muscle Memory

I remember doing the flying mouth-stabbing quest for the first time. After I died twice, I was pissed. I took my shirt off—this puts me in the hero mode—and got up from the seat. I started the quest again standing up, shirt off and 100% focused. Let’s DO THIS! … I died again.

Today, that wyrm can’t even touch me. I think I might try doing the quest with my toes just so I can say I can do it with my toes.

I also remember jousting the Scourge Commander for the first time. He skooled me so fast, I found myself instantly dismounted and running back to the camp flopping my arms HALP! HALP!

Today, I run circles around that guy. I dazzle him with my insane Allen Iverson cross-overs and amaze him to death. My stutter steps are so sick I fake myself out sometimes.

Yogg felt like an impassable brick wall at the first encounter. Today, without a bit of exaggeration, I think the Torch Catching quest is more difficult than Yogg. I keep chasing after other people’s torch. This level 12 orc yelled at me because he thought I was being a jerk. I just went along with it because I’d rather be a misunderstood jerk than a nub chasing after someone else’s hopes & dreams.


Even after forty fails, some people still die to the wrong charge on Thaddius. If you run into the wrong charge because instead of repeating to yourself car battery car battery car battery positive right negative left car battery, you're studying the raid composition to see who'd roll against your t7 leg, you're not an unskilled player; you're just a irresponsible asshole.

These people should not only be ineligible to receive any loots, but also have their driver license revoked. If you can't execute <== - Thad + ==> after twenty attempts, you should not be allowed to drive 75 mph on highways. They certainly shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine or surgery. They be cutting off wrong limb and stuff. oops, wrong leg, tee hee hee.

Three years ago, this nub surgeon left a sponge in my stomach after an appendectomy. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I'm thirsty all the time... that asshole.

My attention span lies somewhere between that of goldfish and a watermelon. My girl got really mad at me because I ran after a shiny like Jaloot in the middle of our relationship talk. We are fast diggers! I can dig really fast! See?.... If you're like me, then take your shirt off and stand up so you can focus proactively.

Honest Hard Work

The reason I love raiding so much is that it gives honest feedback for hard work. It takes me longer than most people to get up that learning curve, but I can make up the short-fall with hard work.

Coming into WotLK, I dropped mining/eng to pick up BS/JC. It's not because I wanted that JC-only belly button ring so I can inscribe Jong & Thrall BFF on it and wear it with my midriff tops. It's because BS/JC was the combo that renders the highest ret pally dps output.

You look at my character sheet, and there's not an ounce of extra dps you can squeeze out, because I sat there and milked everything I could get. You might get another brush out of your completely flat & rolled-up toothpaste tube, but you're getting nothing out of me.

Gevlon and I disagree on this min-maxing philosophy. He writes very insightful, well thought-out posts on gold making. I wish he'd stick to his gig, because when he gets out of his element and starts talking about raiding philosophy, he sounds stupid.

Gevlon: Do extra sockets really make a difference? Good enough is good enough.

/target Gevlon's nuts
/cast Swift Kick
/yell You're out of your element. Go back to your corner and make frostweave bags.

The best enchants, gems, and consumables mean a lot more than negligible extra Attack Power. It carries priceless intangible message that says, hey teammates, I respect your time and efforts, so I'm bringing everything I got.

We can't have Ensidia raiders' gears, but we can have the same enchants, gems, and flasks as those guys.


Sprink said...

Hey man, when the shirt's gotta come off, the shirt's gotta come off.

HP said...

OMG Last year I had SO much trouble with the torch catching quest that I had to make my bf do it for me. This year, I did it all by myself and I'm very proud of it, tyvm =)

I am planning on being BS/JC as I am gathering mats still to power level BS when I finally do it.

I like Gevlon's posts but he seems to be suffering from an epeen problem lately though admittedly, there are a lot of stupid raiders out there that fail on Thaddius.

I have yet to see Yogg Saron on 10s or 25s for various reasons and I'm not very hardcore as I don't truly min/max but I feel I'm not completely out of my element when I opine about raiding. With that said, I generally agree with your post, especially the last line about Ensidia.

highlatencylife said...

I agree to a point. I don't know what it is, but I pugged with people that just don't get it.

I don't think it's skill raiders have, it's traits.

Raiders have certain set of traits, that make them better raiders. Willingness, Tenacity, Adaptability, etc..etc.

Jong said...

"but I feel I'm not completely out of my element when I opine about raiding"

Absolutely. I sincerely believe that progression/gear level has nothing to do with a raider's calibres. Your opinions on holy pally stats/mechanics in raid settings were very well articulated and applies to any level of content.

Anonymous said...

I think what you just described.. is a thing called "SKILL".

You need to know when to move out of cloud, void zone, aoe damage, zone in brain, kill things, zone out before mc'ed, + here - there,stay 10y apart, kill overcharged mob, kick the cast.....

Those are skills .. you learned by wiping/attempts. Talent = how fast you learn it. Fail = you just don't have the skills (either from lack of WoW game talent or just the lack of attempts)

Just like IRL, you learn skills by going to school (though some do outside of school and some geniuses don't even ened to go school)... some learn fast, some learn slow, some just can't learn...

Anonymous said...

"Skill is an equally unfitting term for anything in PvE. What skill? The skill to take three steps to the side when the bright huge-ass fissure spawns at the exact time it said it was going to spawn? Oooooh, that's crazy leet."

i'm the same anonymous above.

Again, what you left out is the rest of the stuff.. you left out the part where you have to dps/heal/tank with adds all over that may/may not have aggro on the right person. You forgot the part where you have watch out for that fire wave, or if you are within 10yard of the next group, ... if you are about to interrupt a frost bolt, heal a raider, run away from aoes....

you forgot a lot of things, if you say oh..just stay off the shadow fissure, that's easy but is he/she being productive the rest of the time... that's not a good raider.

I know you think this game is easy.. PVE/PVP.. maybe, maybe it is that easy but you still have you gain the skill to do it. If you just time in Yogg room, without watching video, you'll get a$$-F'ed ... As you fight him, you'll gain more skills and eventually, you'll one shot him.

THAT, my friend, is skill.. you just learned skills to beat yog.

eating a cheeseburger without getting cheese on your face .. maybe a skill. Though no one will brag about that. If you are talking about jerk raiders that brag about their leetness.. I agree, nothing is hard in PVE. with reasonable time, we will all learn the skills. That's Bliz's goal...

Jong said...

@ Anonymous x 2

"eating a cheeseburger without getting cheese on your face .. maybe a skill."

We just completed the One Patty in the Darkness. I've seen the Ensidia video on No Cheese On Face... those guys made it look so easy, but I'm not sure if we're even ready for it.

Arioch said...

I was going to write a long comment about disagreeing on the semantics of "skill" but I lost interest.

I do, however, completely agree with the point about being prepared in raids to show you respect the time and effort of the other raiders. Content on farm? Meh. New content? You bring your A-game or don't come at all.

Also, there is something to the shirtless raiding. I myself swear by this technique. Although it probably has a lot more to do with my office being FUGGIN' HOT.

Ixobelle said...

you, sir, are the wind beneath my wings.

fuck, now you're making me feel all shitty. I used to have good posts way back when, but now I just read other blogs and shamefully fold my laptop lid down and weep gently in the corner. Once I get to america again, and my anger gland is reactivated, perhaps then there will be a reckoning to be had.

for now, I wait.

Ixobelle said...

omg, and I remember what I wanted to say now: I am Teh Anti-Allen Iverson.

He's black, I'm white. He plays basketball, I eat donuts and drink beer. He's rich and successful, my NAME is Rich, but I'm unemployed atm.


June 7th, 1975. Both of us. I found that out the other day, and it made me kind of weirded out. Allen Iverson? wtf.

Firespirit said...

OMG, LMFAO - The shirt is coming off. I have to remember that.

I leveled blacksmithing, and am a bit frustrated with it. I recently started gathering mats to power level JC too, I figure if I am going to have BS, I might as well have JC too....

I like Gevlon, he makes good points sometimes, but I too think he needs to stick to the economics issues. I just posted (it will publish tomorrow) a rebuttal to his most recent article.

The one thing I like about Gevlon is that he has the ability to spark discussion - be it better or worse :)

Anonymous said...

I hope I haven't gone full retard (or maybe you're just in different gear) but when I went to your oh-so-fabu armory site and checked you out your glam-belf self you only had 2, COUNT 2, JC prismatic gems. Is there a particular method to your mayhem that I, a lowly holy pally, just cannot comprehend? Or am I simply mystified by the perpetual rainbow glistening over your pointy ears? Who knows....please enlighten me :)

Love the blog by the way :) You always crack me up.

Jong said...

@ ixo

I had to read your comments twice, because I lost track mid point... my eyes got watery with the tears of gratitude at "donuts and beer". MJ was right-- I am NOT alone.

@ fire

"he has the ability to spark discussion" I agree. He does that extremely well.

@anonymous #3

I almost thought you had the comment of the year. By stomping me to shame and squeezing out +11 strength, toothpaste, shampoo, dishwasher, and a few other pieces of household goods out of the flat toothpaste tube. I actually checked my gems and ran straight to JC vendor and cut me another pris gem. I couldn't socket it. It turns out I have 3-- belt, legs and sword-- but I didn't see the one in sword.

Kimberly said...

re: Thaddius

It is harder to make the jump than it is to deal with his polarity.

Know what I do? I have a "-" sticky note on one side of the monitor and a "+" sticky note on the other side. It's not hard!

I died once on polarity, and that was the first time with my mage. I realized I stand further back with her than my pally and it'd take longer to cross to the other side. Rectified.

re: Focusing. I don't take my shirt off, because then my guy would take that as an invitation and the raid would die because their healer would be ..in the other room & otherwise occupied. I do put on my paladin t-shirt. It makes me feel uber.

re: Bringing your best. I worked my butt off trying to make sure I was ready for Naxx-10. If there was good BoE Naxx gear, I bought it. Everything was enchanted, gemmed, etc. I have 9 others depending on me to bring my best...how can I let them down?

re: Gevlon. I love him. He'd completely hate how I play, though.

ByStander said...

Awesome Jon I had to say that Anonymous totally won the I"m the idiot award for today, which was very funny, after reading your blog today , I was to know do you consider PVP more "skill" ? (see I"m using your definition of skill and not these other's) :D

Lance said...

For heroic hard modes, take the pants off and raid 'au naturel'.

I am the Paul Pierce of naked raiding

spinksville said...

"I leveled blacksmithing, and am a bit frustrated with it. I recently started gathering mats to power level JC too, I figure if I am going to have BS, I might as well have JC too...."

See, I take this the other way. I've been miner/blacksmith forever, and it was a pita. Stupid mithril order. The thorium order are worse.

I'm not dropping anything for JC, just because blizzard decided to make BS/JC extra good this expansion. Fuck that. I hate levelling tradeskills. I'm one of the best tanks in my raid and they'll just have to take me without jewelcrafting because everyone has their limits and that's mine!

*vlad* said...

Skill : an ability that has been acquired by training

In other words, by doing Thaddius a couple of times (hopefully!) and learning how not to be on the plus side when you should be on the minus side, you gain skill in avoiding the wrong charge.

Eating cheeseburger and not getting it down your front or round your mouth IS a skill; that's why 3 year olds have half their dinner on their face after eating it.

If there is no skill in playing computer games, then there is no such thing as skill, and the word should be removed from the dictionary.

Shamrockgirl said...

"/target Gevlon's nuts
/cast Swift Kick" Made me laugh... out loud... at work... youve gotta stop doing that to me! LOL

<3 the post. <3 you.

Shamrockgirl said...

"/target Gevlon's nuts
/cast Swift Kick" Made me laugh... out loud... at work... youve gotta stop doing that to me! LOL

<3 the post. <3 you.

Hatch said...

We just raid with our pants off to start with. It's the source of our power.

I'm gonna have to agree with the early anonymous guy about how there is skill, it's just a semantic argument over what you call skill and all that. Most of what I would call "skill" is the stuff you described, mainly being able to learn how to do this stuff in a reasonable amount of time, and, as you said, respecting the time of the others you raid with. But that's just me.

Couldn't agree with you more about Gevlon and about showing that you respect your raid team by SUITING UP to your fullest potential.

Another great Jong post.

Hana said...

/yell You're out of your element. Go back to your corner and make frostweave bags.

I about died reading this. ^_^ I like reading Gevlon, but the raiding posts aren't quite as fun as the money-making ones.

Anonymous said...

<--- Anonymous #3

My most sincerest of apologies. I was unable to see your weapon and its aforementioned sockets of awesomeness. As I said previously, I am a lowly holy pally and am unfamiliar with the awe-inspiring bladed glory of such pure smiting power as that which you possess, i.e. that big honkin' sword you got. As such, I don't run across socketed weapons, and if I did, I would surely have to change my pants (another reason to raid naked, I might add...not like we need any more reasons though, am I right?)

gnomeaggedon said...

I take my pants off... all the eaiser to belch fire at my ganking foes...

I also pierce all my privates with them uber gems, which is why you will never see them on the armory.

I don't dance around thaddius... I blink right through the oversized practice target.

I will go an upskirt Gevlon to see if nuts are properly kicked... Gnomes can do this without causing concern...

But seriously... this isn't TBC... gems cost relative coppers in WoLK.. you don't have to chase all over the world for enchanters, you just go to the AH...

No excuses (apart from hangovers, or pre-hangovers) for not being properly enhanced... You can find appropriate enchancements in the ad sections of most magazines...