Friday, June 12, 2009

planning new topics

The overwhelming majority of the blog’s interest group is represented by Mages. I find the fact that mages can find common grounds with me interesting. The only thing I know about mage is…well, I have a lvl 1 alliance human mage bank toon. I named her Bartiromo after the CNBC anchor I had a huge crush on until she appeared on celebrity Jeopardy and I found out how dumb she is. I like attractive smart girls. Unfortunately attractive smart girls don’t feel the same way about me. Anyhow, I have two spells on my action bar. One button looks like an ice cube. I don’t know what it does, but when I click it, I get an awesome ice cube animation over my head. The other button looks like a fireball. I used it to one-shot any rabbit or chicken that stood in my way when I was running from Northshire to Stormwind auction house.

I also get a lot of customers (customers?) from the Healing group. This is also interesting because the only thing I know about healing is that it’s really stressful. I have a full set of ubber holy gears… which I stack up like Lego blocks to build castles and stuff when I’m bored. Situational awareness is a fascinating concept to me. When the ready check goes duh-nah-nah, everything around me fades away and all I see is white flash of fury. I don’t know what anyone else is doing, and I don’t really care. Compensating for other’s shot-fall is also a fascinating concept to me. When my arms warrior buddy is pushing the threat too close and calls for Hand of Salvation, I just feign ignorance—huh?—because I’m not burning my precious GCD so he can dps more. If your agro is high, just stop dps so I can look good. When kologarn stone grips my dk buddy, I don’t activate Divine Sacrifice + Bubble because that takes away whopping 3 seconds of my precious GCD. Plus, if he dies, I’ll look really good on recount… I once tried sneaking in Rank 1 BoM for warrior/dk and the max rank BoM for me. They called me out, and again, I feigned ignorance—huh?

Now, the concerning trend—and the real point of this entry— is that the ret pally community at large thinks I’m an idiot and couldn’t care less about whatever I have to say. If you came here looking for ret pally facts & numbers, you got nothing. I perused through all my posts and they’re all useless. Some are particularly more pointless than the others, but they all are useless. I'm gonna do something to address this, because the founding mission statement of Forbearance blog is...

To provide a sanctuary of classiness and pristine elegance for raiding retribution paladins with scholarly endeavors toward dishing out crazy leet dps.

Going forward, every other week or so, I'll be posting write ups on ret pally numbers. I hope they will be as interesting, astute, and elegant as all my writings.

Have a nice weekend.


gnomeaggedon said...

Is your blog big enough for your pally numbers?

I have a pally.
I have found it real good at collecting mail, sending mail and buying necessary mats and pots from the AH.

They seem to be quite trustworthy.

It made it to level 10 before I discovered it couldn't die. What's the point in that I ask?

However, my Mage does subscribe to your DPS only policy, as well as you kill (or let die) your DPS meter competition model.

I have found two things once they die.
1) they drop on the meters, and this I rise in relation, and
2) there is more mob hit points to go around, which makes it easier for me to top the meters.

I have also found harassing PuG healer's (usually by taking too much damage and in extremes deaths), my dps buddies will be forced to log in with their healers.

Win win... More DPS meter goodies for me as well as healer's that want to keep their fragile mate alive.


One of you main Mage followers....

Figworth said...

OMG! I, too, have a mage bank alt. We must be related. Except that I'm a warlock.

P. S. - My fiance's attractive, and smart, and it's a scary combination. Be careful what you wish for.

Anonymous said...

Meh, numbers. I read Forbearance for the spirit of dps. The essence of dps. Not numbers. Keep on keepin' on.

-The Addict

Sprink of Archimonde said...

Okay, have this crackpot theory -- which I just came up with -- that you were switched at birth. That's why all the mages love you. You have the heart of a mage. ~_^

Just think of the poor little mage out there, trying to hit things with his knife and trying to block with his Ward of the Violet Citadel. That poor kid.

Seriously though, I love coming here. My prot pally's going to dual spec ret once she hits 40, and your stories are what made me want to do it. I come here for entertainment and information. You give both. ^_^

Ixobelle said...

when you post these ret numbers, make sure and include a lot of fours.

Four is a hot number. Here, I got a few extra you can have


Shamrockgirl said...

Jong... i think you may have miscategorised me (i assume i am in the quilting category). although that is the essence of my blog and i do not WoW blog... i am a Resto Shaman, alliance, level 80 on Lightninghoof named Khaelie. And i come here for your wildly entertaining stories, not the numbers. Most of the WoW blogs i read are the ones that tell stories and such, not the ones that give stats and numbers n such. if i want numbers i will visit elitest jerks or something. So keep up the great stories and i will keep coming back for more.

Will said...

Jong, My main is a hunter. I have a ret Pally and a Feral Druid as alts. I do not read this site for information. Could you provide some? Yes. Will it help others? Yes.

That said write what you want nothing will beat your Mariah Carey post. Write what you want or don't. This is your blog. If you DO want to write something informative then by all means do so. However I would prefer that you write what you really want to write and not turn this into something you have no desire to maintain.

ByStander said...

Awesome Jong if you start with number you won't be Awesome Jong now more, you would probably just be a nerdy Jong, you seriously want to be a nerdy Jong? how come there is no slots for Shamans... is there some sort of discrimination? anyway always fun to read your blog , don't ever change!

Beefheart said...

Numbers? BiS? Itemisation? Meh. I come here because your posts are funny and it makes me want to play my poor lvl 59 BG-owning Retbitch more. As one of the other commenters points out though, they ARE great at picking up mail and buying pots.Ironically enough my main is a mage too :)The only numbers we care about are the recount numbers. The main thing I have learned from you Jong? The harder you press the buttons the higher your DPS. Fact.

Arioch said...

You don't need to post numbers. You've already given us the secret to DPS:

"What I can share with you though, is heart. The heart of plate dps. The heart of Grom Hellscream-- this is what separates the champions from the chumps."

-A satisfied mage customer

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!