Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Dumbo's Feather

I’d like to dedicate this post to my good friends and brothers in 2h axe, Ody and Musta.

Ody, you are the illest dk on the dk land and the Eternal Champion of Unapologetic Leet’ness. You’ve upheld the highest standards of raiding etiquettes, and… I don’t care if you call me a girl and punch me in the neck… you had me at hello and you complete me.

Musta, you’ve inspired me to roll a fury warrior. I wanna be the dwarf version of you. The other day, I looked up What is love? Is there life after death? What’s a fury warrior? in the Collegiate Encyclopedia of Philosophy. It said, "armory musta"… your DPS is in fact the answer to all my confusion and life’s uncertainty. You are the dopest warrior there never was.

Although we have nothing in common besides our commitment to Intensity & Pride, I consider both of you my friends. We were the Trinity of Crazy Leet Plate DPS and we got more scourge minion groupies than Jonas Brothers. It’s been an absolute honor running with you and I’ll miss you very much.

Long live the mighty Weight Watchers (2007-2009)

Jong

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As you know, I exclusively use the most modest choice of words to describe myself. I probably come across as an overly humble and reserved guy.

Contrary to your perception, I have a gigantic ego. In fact, my ego is so big that I started developing a set of secondary egos to provide administrative and logistical support for my primary ego.
=======================

Some people dominate without ego or flamboyant smack.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick."—Teddy Roosevelt

George Saint-Pierre is one of many admirable individuals who proved that humility and greatness can coexist. He is one of my favorite fighters of all time who single-handedly reversed the disgrace Jean Claude Van Damme inflicted upon the reputations of every country and culture related to France.

All the scrubs dueling infront of Orgrimmar always says something like this after losing:

“You got lucky. My HoJ cooldown was half second away.”

Have you ever heard GSP’s post-fight interview after a losing match?

“He out-played me. He landed a solid hook and I lost my balance.”

/sigh… Van Damme, if you haven’t already, send GSP a coffe maker or a toaster with a nice thank-you letter. Tell him, "Dear George, Thank you for un-doing my disgrace", because, If it weren’t for GSP, I would still believe that all French descendants are girls who aspire to obtain black belt in modern ballet so they can flex their glistening buttocks right into the camera for no apparent contribution to the movie’s plot what so ever.

Some people put out the most unapologetic ego and back it up with greatness.

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”—Muhammad Ali

Ray Lewis will tell you, right in your face, that he is the most dominating player in the league. You might get all worked-up and be annoyed by his ego, but you really can’t tell him no, be quiet, sit down, or nothing like that, because he actually does the crazy things he’ll do to you.

Boxing experts will tell you that Muhammad Ali wasn’t the greatest of his time. I believe he’s the greatest of all time, because, well, … he kept telling me over and over and I just started believing it.

What’s your style of greatness? No Talk All Execution or Big Talks Backed-up by Greatness?

My style is the latter. The key difference between Muhammad Ali and me is that I can’t back up my talk and end up looking really stupid lots of times.

I plugged in [+16 Ego] and [+16 Self-delusion] into Rawr 3.1 Ret Pally DPS module. Surprisingly, neither stat had any bearing on ret pally dps output. ZERO. So, technically, ego has nothing to do with greatness. Still, Ego is my Dumbo’s Feather—it doesn’t increase my Crusader Strike damage, but it gives me the confidence to fly… and if I can’t fly I’d look stupid with an email address supaflyretpally@gmail.com

You know how your dps starts getting into pointless recount pissing match no one cares about? You’d tell them, “focus!” or “be quiet no one cares!” You’d be annoyed, but at least you’d have words for their scrubby display of ego.

If you heard me, ody, and musta getting into an ego douchebaggery show down, you would just go, omg no comment… You would be speechless, standing there dumbfounded completely without words. We’re ridiculous.

Musta: I am the fury warrior of fury! I dual-wield rogues. I dual-wield rogues while they’re flopping around spamming Fan of Knives!

Jong: fu asshole. You’re full of shit.

Ody: NO U

Jong: My dps is like the Sun—it nourishes and provides for all. It’s got vitamin D and helps plants grow and stuff.

Ody: stfu. I am the Astronaut of Plate DPS. You two are just commercial jet pilots.

Musta: roflmao. FU

Jong: NO U

16 comments:

Arioch said...

You make me laugh so hard.

Nomasun said...

GSP and Jean-Claude are not Cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys!

GSP is Canadian!!

Jean Claude Van Damme is Belgian!!!

Jong said...

@Nomasun

You’re absolutely correct. That’s why I worded the phrase like this:

"...every country and culture related to France."

JCVD disgraced all things related to France just by association(i.e., being a native of predominantly French speaking part of Belgium). He’s probably fluent in French and maybe Dutch too.

GSP reversed JCVD’s disgrace just by association (i.e., using French rap music as his entrance music). I'm guessing he's a French-Canadian.

Now I have to go repeat all of my Daily Self-Affirmation Process because you’ve hurt my ego by assuming I didn’t know where they were from.

Arioch said...

Consider yourself tagged, Jong. I even responded to your comment. =P

HP said...

ROFL!! Rock on, supafly, rock on! =P

And..

"New Mount: A new Argent Crusade paladin-only charger will be available."

Beefheart said...

"My dps is like the Sun—it nourishes and provides for all. It’s got vitamin D and helps plants grow and stuff"
Just got busted at work reading your blog. Stop being so goddamn funny please :)

smart001 said...

I duel wield rogues spamming fan of knives

That phrase made me spit coffee at my computer. Luckily it was my work computer so I can still play.

Sprink of Archimonde said...

My Dumbo's Feather? That people talk about me when I'm not there. In a good way.

Actual conversation:
"Why isn't anything on fire?"
"Sprink is at work." ^_^

Anonymous said...

I fully acknowledge your awesomeness, let me say that first.

However. As a frequent reader of your blog I need to ask because it's been irking me.

Why the hell is the leetiest of all leet raiding guilds in all the land called "Weight Watchers"?

I'm not even trying to be a douchebag, I'm really am curious.

Jong said...

@anonymous

Your opening remark is the most astutely structured English sentence I have ever seen. It totally reflects your elegance and classiness. I bet you are awesome and good looking too.

I didn’t know there were other Weight Watchers. The guild has disbanded effective Tuesday and I had great time running with these guys. We were far from being the leetest among the leets; we were just bunch of unruly thugs with lots of potentials that can be really good when we wanted to be good.

ByStander said...

Another Great Post Awesome Jong , thanks for sharing ;)

Beefheart said...

Jong don't think Dingblog will do RSS feeds at the moment :(
The template is being updated with new HTML and features etc shortly though so I'll see what I can sort out...
Ironically I won't be blogging for a bit though as life is getting in the way...but you'll be pleased to know I resurrected my 60 Pally yesterday and totally ripped off your spec and then went to town on Timbermaw Hold, with impressive results :)
Quick question: Do I need SoC levelling? Without full JoW or SoW I go oom pretty damn quickly.Sorry about the commenttextwall.

Jong said...

@ beefheart

I started lvling another paladin too.

Run with SoC. Mana regen tend to be erratic while leveling b/c our replenishment mechanism requires us to hit the mob, but we tend to miss a lot. Consecrate has low dmg per mana output; I don't use it unless I have 2+ mobs on me.

If you haven't allocated points in it, 2/2 in Vindication is great for leveling. We don't need it for raiding b/c raid bosses are immune to it.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! The post with the interview got pulled! But it was lulz!!!

Anonymous said...

It was rather interesting for me to read this post. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I would like to read more soon.

Anonymous said...

Don't stop posting such stories. I love to read stories like that. By the way add more pics :)