Monday, June 1, 2009

Metal Gear Solid: Ironforge

/Incoming transmission…doo doo doo…doo doo

At 0400 today, you will be air-dropped into the mountains just south of Coldridge Valley. You are to locate and infiltrate the nearest Alliance base NE of the drop zone. This is an undercover reconnaissance mission. Establish a cover and report to frequency 140.09 as soon as you're positioned. If the cover is compromised, bubblehearth.

Godspeed

/transmission terminated
==========================

===================================
/transmission incoming

Jong: Command Center, are you receiving?

Thrall: Report

J: I'm in the city. I've established a cover.

T: What's your... wtf? Are you wearing a head band?

J: Yeah, I wanted to look like Solid Snake. Andre Aggassi said image is everything.

T: ...

T: What's your cover?

J: I'm a level 17 dwarf arms warrior.

T: You're not a paladin?

J: Nope. Paladins are pussies. I always wanted to be an arms warrior. Dwarves are awesome. I was getting so sick of male belf cast animation. JAZZ HANDS! Theeeese are spirit fingers. GHEY.

Anyhow, I checked into the inn to set my hearthstone, and just look at this ironic claim tag on my bag!

Isn't that so ironic? I'm l33t!

T: How ironic. That looks just like Ferraro's claim tag. Give me a quick run-down on initial observations.

J
: Ok, you ready? Get this, this whole city is FORGED in IRON. I haven't found out what they call this place yet, but the entire place is FORGED in IRON. Absolutely magnificient.

T
: Astounding.

J
: Orgrimmar is made of what? Trees and mud? Set that shit on fire on a low humidity day. gg for you.

T
: -_-
J: These guys are in Iron Age and you're bearly sucking wind through the Neolithic Age.

T
: That's enough.

J: If you reference the archeological chronology table, you're about 3000 years behind these guys. You are like monkeys to them.

T: Enough!

T: /sigh... Anything else?

J: Errrm, yeah. Draenai girl butts are really bouncy and they stick out really far. I sneaked up on one and tried to set my sandwich tray on it.

T: What?!?

J: Inorite? She turned around and yelled at me. I almost blew my cover, because I panicked and blurted out "my, you're a tall one!"

T: Were you able to get a general assessment of the sophistication level of the trade channel participants?

J: Yes. It's pretty interesting. The Alliance trade chat scrubs are just as scrubby as the Horde trade chat scrubs. Murlocs stole my socks. Chuck Norris' DNA isn't double helix; it's barbed wire... you know.

T: I see.

J: Anal [Quick Cap]!

T: What?

J: Hey chief, I gotta go, they just started the anal games. OMG I'm gonna OWN these scrubs... Anal [Wrecking Ball]! I said it first! Noooope, I TOTALLY said it first!

T: Jong... Commander Jong! Solid Snake!

/transmission terminated
======================

IMPORTANT LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I did not get that claim tag from Double Tree Ironforge. I totally ninjaed it from techdarling's blog. It's hers, not mine.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh till I pee myself! Thank you!

Sassafras said...

Ahh the Anal games.... you playing on Muradin?

highlatencylife said...

WTF we don't have this Anal games on our server, at least not that I saw. I think I shall start it.

Shamrockgirl said...

such fun! thanks for the laugh!

Kimberly said...

I loved this!

I will never understand why the Horde live in huts and primitive camps with torn banners.

We have forges! We have tailors! I guess Thrall et al just enjoy the "distressed" look.

DarkSoth said...

Random observation: This initial transmission said to "Establish a cover and report to frequency 140.09" and the picture clearly indicates you on frequency 140.96. Methinks you were talking to an imposter! The allies could be onto you!

Great post.

*vlad* said...

It's all true!

Nomasun said...

HAHAHA!!


Great Job!