Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Feet of Gold

OMG why didn’t any of you tell me I can get epic gems from the fishing dailies? You’ve got to keep me posted on stuff like this. I don’t care for pets or achievement points, but if it’s anything that gives me even the slightest dps edge, I will whore my heart out. If that noble garden achievement rewarded me 1 Attack Power, you better believe I’d be sitting in Terrokar Forrest clicking the shit out them eggs.

I didn’t get a gem yesterday, but I got me this epic pimp cane fishing pole. It’s got wings like paladins and blings like Bishop Don Magic Juan. Chuuch.


I also got this grey vendor loot: Worthless Piece of Green Glass. I LOVE this. They named it so I can vendor it with confidence and never look back. The green-blue-purple color code doesn’t work for me. One thing I really regret is vendoring Gorehowl. I was a silly nub and I had no idea who Grom Hellscream was. Zug zug.
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Michael Johnson is one of my favorite athletes of all time. He smoked everybody in both the 200m and 400m event at the same Olympics. For those of you who can’t grasp how crazy awesome that is, that’s like going to an Ensidia raid and topping the dps meter AND the healing meter at the same time.

He’s also known for his showy display. Oakley shades, gold necklace, and golden cleats. Michael Johnson is allowed to rock them blings, because he owns everyone. If you’re gonna get smoked, don’t ever lollygag on this sacred track with your golden cleats—it looks ridiculous.

So…we ran into a rogue named pwnyoface in VoA pug. If you’re a rogue named pwnyoface, you better pwn some face and you certainly better pull more than 1100 dps. What is you thinking walking in here all swaggering like you know what’s going on and getting face rolled by a prot warrior?

1) He was trying to teach us a lesson in irony.

2) He was trying to teach us a lesson in ambiguous pronouns. Your in pwnyoface is not referencing me, you, or the prot warrior. He was talking to that lvl 1 dalaran squirrel.

Take them gold cleats off you fool. and here’s $15, go change your name to higuyz or helloeveryone or something like that.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

/rofl

Arioch said...

Maybe it was pwny of ace?

My Little Pwny? And he plays poker? Or listens to Ace of Base?

Anonymous said...

I <3 U.

Sassafras said...

I got the sexy bone pole a week or so ago on Sass.
Also, I <3 Pwnies!!! *squeal!*

gnomeaggedon.net said...

I do love it when people choose toon names that don't reflect their role...

the ol' Holyxxxx on a ShadowPriest
FrosyFred, on a firemage

etc...

I dare say pwnyoface was hot for the 1st 10 levels... but you know, it's hard to live up to a reputation... everyone wants to take the best gun fighter down