Thursday, April 2, 2009

i don't like eating salad

I couldn't do the sons of hodir dailies today. Those frostborn dwarves reminded me of BRK and I couldn't kill them. I'm gonna miss that guy.

My mom calls me every week to tell me to eat vegetables. GAWD.

I know some people who'll look at a bowl of salad and actually salivate. They'll say "mmm, what a tasty looking salad." Are they serious? You could starve me for weeks and I'll still look at a big bowl salad, trees, lawns, and leaves the same way: they're all just green decorations.

I tried to explain to mom that I was a cheetah in my previous life. I can faintly remember chasing after gazelles on the plains of Serengeti. Therefore, eating nothing but steak, spam, bacon, and bratwurst is a perfectly suitable dietary habit for me.

She wouldn't buy it. She yelled at me and told me to stop saying stupid things or something like that. She said if I don't like plain salad, I could put on toppings I like.

I'm gonna make me some fried chicken and donut salad tomorrow.

Mom also calls me every week to ask me if I went to church. GAWD. I don't go to church, but I play paladin, so it's better than nothing.

Martha: "Jesus, can you rez my brother?"
Jesus: "Yep, I got him." /target Lazarus /cast Resurrection
Jesus: ....
Martha: ...
Jesus: "Hold on I'm still in combat."


Lance said...

Hahah, excellent. I thought Jesus plays a shaman though, with all the water walking and stuff...

Taryl said...

Oh yes! bonus points for the bible reference :D every1 knows that the only true way to the light is with the paladins baby!

Arioch said...

Salad serves a purpose. Namely, to give my steak something to graze on and keep it from crawling down the table to the vegan's plate looking for a bite.