Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Raiders: Dumber than a Box of Rocks

Darraxus wrote an interesting post on dumb raid bosses.

I tell you, if I were Patchwerk, ain’t nobody clearing the Construct Wing. Even Ensidia Special Forces Airborne Ranger wouldn’t have a prayer.

I’d hide in Gluth’s chamber and never come out.

Gluth: Are they here yet? I think I hear them buffing up.

Me: shhhhh! be quiet.

They’d be so confused.

“Where the hell is Patchwerk?”
“Aw man, did somebody get us saved into a cleared instance?”

The raid would either disband out of frustration & confusion, or they’d try to advance to Gluth… when the heart of the raid is crossing the froggers, I strike.

“Surprise bitches! Tactical Disposition, Sun Tsu Art of War, Chronicle IV.”

I wouldn’t even touch anybody. The raid would wipe itself running into each other.

Raid bosses are dumb as a pile of rocks. But most raids are are even dumber than a pile of rocks.

Heigan: “Hahaha I’m going to fill the room with green fire of doom!... but in a perfectly predictable pattern with precisely timed intervals!”

Raid: “HA HA you dumb Heigan! Well, I’m going to stand wherever I feel like standing and take the fire to my face!”

Saphiron: “I’m going to house the whole raid with a Jihad bomb of ICE!... but first, I’m going to provide you THREE bomb shelters conveniently located throughout the raid!”

Raid: “HA HA you are so stupid! Well, I’m going to NOT hide behind the bomb shelter and take the blast to my face!”


Lance said...

The perils of scripted fights. Without those we would need situational (and context) awareness. Therefore about 80% of the population would suck.

Bosses are indeed dum...

Darraxus said...

Lol, raiders are the ones that make the bosses look smart 0_0

Kestrel said...

LOL...I love this: "...raiders are the ones that make the bosses look smart 0_0"