Raiders: Dumber than a Box of Rocks

Darraxus wrote an interesting post on dumb raid bosses.

I tell you, if I were Patchwerk, ain’t nobody clearing the Construct Wing. Even Ensidia Special Forces Airborne Ranger wouldn’t have a prayer.

I’d hide in Gluth’s chamber and never come out.

Gluth: Are they here yet? I think I hear them buffing up.

Me: shhhhh! be quiet.

They’d be so confused.

“Where the hell is Patchwerk?”
“Aw man, did somebody get us saved into a cleared instance?”

The raid would either disband out of frustration & confusion, or they’d try to advance to Gluth… when the heart of the raid is crossing the froggers, I strike.

“Surprise bitches! Tactical Disposition, Sun Tsu Art of War, Chronicle IV.”

I wouldn’t even touch anybody. The raid would wipe itself running into each other.
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Raid bosses are dumb as a pile of rocks. But most raids are are even dumber than a pile of rocks.

Heigan: “Hahaha I’m going to fill the room with green fire of doom!... but in a perfectly predictable pattern with precisely timed intervals!”

Raid: “HA HA you dumb Heigan! Well, I’m going to stand wherever I feel like standing and take the fire to my face!”

Saphiron: “I’m going to house the whole raid with a Jihad bomb of ICE!... but first, I’m going to provide you THREE bomb shelters conveniently located throughout the raid!”

Raid: “HA HA you are so stupid! Well, I’m going to NOT hide behind the bomb shelter and take the blast to my face!”