[Your Spec/Class] is Faceroll

I was hanging out in dal bank minding my own business and looking at the floor tile patterns.

This warlock named KanyePest runs up to me and whispers, "lolret is so easy to play. it's sooooo easy. lol"

/crickets chirping

... so, then we're staring at each other in awkward silence, because I have no idea how to respond to his remarks. He doesn't know what else to say either.

I was speechless, not because I was offended in any way, but because I really didn't know what I was supposed to say. If I just knew where he was going with this, we could have held a perfectly normal, healthy conversation.

Maybe he wanted to play Let's Blurt Out Random Obivious Statements and he envisioned a conversation like this:

"Lolret is easy!"

"Uhm...bacon is delicious!"

"Megan Fox is hot!"

"Errrrm...puppies are cute!"

"Uh... uh... damn, you win."

"Yay!"

"Grats."

"Thanks."

In which case, I feel really bad, because I totally messed up.

Maybe he was trying to illicit a nerdrage-imbued statement of defense so he can laugh at me:

/lip quivers

"No! You are a liar! Retribution Paladin is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating class! You don't even understand!"

In that case, he just picked a wrong ret pally. He should have spoke to the guy named Frog on this forum. Because, I didn't feel inferior or insecure or anything.

For the sake of discussion, let's assume that playing ret is like riding a bicycle and playing warlock is like piloting Boeing 757 with flashing dashboards all over the place.

If a random pilot walked up to Kevin Robinson, the BMX Mega Ramp World Record Holder, and said, "Riding bicycle is soooo easy. My 6-yr-old niece can ride it too. lol", do you think Kevin Robinson would be offended? Like, even a little bit?

Anyone can ride a bicycle, but only Kevin Robinson can do stuff with a bicycle that you thought humans weren't allowed to do on a bicycle.

Anyone can faceroll a ret pally to 4k dps; only the SupaFlyRetPally can pull 540 Double Flairs and make children believe in magic.

When somone walks up to you to specifically diss the ease of [Your Class/Spec] mechanics, what is the proper response?

A) Yes... and?

B) Yes. You know what else is easy? Using chopsticks. Even white people can eat california rolls with chopsticks... but, only the Shaolin Grand Master Chopstick Specialsts can catch mosquitoes in mid-flight with chopsticks. Think about it.

C) Yes, I already know. Why do you hurt me?

D) Bacon is delicious!

E) No! You are a liar! [My Class/Spec] is delightfully complex and intricately stimulating! You don't even understand!"
.....

I didn't say anything mean to him, because I figured the guy's Emotional Quotient is so low that the concept of Conversation Rituals eludes him. He's like that poor baby monkey who was raised by humans, so he has no clue how to interact with other monkeys.

You can't just walk up to another monkey and start grooming hair. The Alpha Monkey will disapprove of such display of lack of social graces and fuck you up. You gotta follow the rituals, man: "Hey buddy, how are you? Mind if I pick on your back hair a little bit?"

Hands-on Approach

"Put 'em up where I can see 'em, at ALL times, thanks."

--

So my 5's comp has pretty much hit the same wall as the previous season, floating between 1700-1800. We're just too weak against ranged/Wizard Cleave setups and it's really popular this season.

If you're not familiar with those terms, allow me to explain---you know the random morons on the forums complaining about Destro Lock burst in BG's (the ones with 17k HP and think that LOS is a pronoun in Spanish)? They think that's burst damage. Ahaha, to be young and naive.

Throw in an Ele Shammy, maybe a Mage, and give 'em 10sec of Aura Mastery with a Priest spamming dispel to strip defensive buffs. Now that's burst to cry about.

Anyways, that wall sucks---because then I start yelling at my team for no reason, even when we win.

"Did you tie your shoelaces using the rabbit ears method?"
"No?"
"FUCKFUCK FUCKITYFUCKFUCK!"
"Uhh.."
"Ok, here comes the queue---do your best guys! ^^ <3 xoxo"

My Ret teammate is trying out Prot/Ret and my Hunter teammate is going to try something new as well:



Nevermind.

--

Speaking of feeling hands, did you know that Blizzard has no fuckingclue what they want to do with Lay on Hands?

Pretty soon, everything you do as a Pally will cause Forbearance. You log in, Forbearance. You eat a Mage strudel, Forbearance. You eat a Mage, Forbearance.

You read this blog, Forbearance (sorry.. I had to).

I brought this issue up to Jong to get the Ret perspective:

"Jong, this LOH change is a slap in teh vagina!"
"Wha?"
"I just wanted to see if you'd say 'YAH I KNO!' which would imply you had one."
"RULE #3, RULE #3!!"
"^^ <3 xoxo"

I'm at Camp Narache

I'm going to participate in Big Bear's Raid for the Cure on 14th. I made a lvl 1 belf pally and parked it next to Grull Hakwind just like bear told me to. I've never been in such a ultra uber nerdy event like this, but it's for a good cause.

I had to be Jöng because some sap took my name. Someone bring your main so we can go pwn the hiena that killed me three times near Cross Roads.
DISCLAIMER: Whatever I'll be wearing on top of the standard belf-issued green leotard-looking armor solely represents my support for the cause and utmost confidence in my manhood.
=========================

I think whoever wrote that guild message of the day should consider exploring career opportunities in stand-up comedy.

I am Jong the Astral Walker. You know what that means, right? That means I walk on stars... and ... stuff.